Vinnie the Pooh!

Moving on....

2011-06-29T18:32:00.000+05:30

Hey Guys!

Have moved on to a new blog with a new look and feel. Do come over to experience the new...

Thank you all for giving me this opportunity to express myself. I feel enriched by your stories and am leaving with the good fortune of having been acquainted with wonderful bloggers and your amazing stories!

I wish you happiness forever, though I would also be glad to have you visit me at oldfox004.blogspot.com

~ Oldfox 004

The long and the short of it...

2011-05-04T00:29:00.000+05:30

It was a quarter past five in the wee hours of morning and the sun had just risen over the Hilimanjharo. Jaikishen was up as usual – she had stolen his sleep. No not Jillian, she was too shy and would rather shrivel up and die in embarrassment than flutter her curly lashes for him. And this was a time when the world knew no barriers, no borders; only places with beautiful names and enchanting hills.

It was poor little grandma who was down with the flu and only the water from Hilimanjharo could heal her. The water was believed to be an elixir although hundreds had died of the dreaded dengue despite having more Hilimanjharo water than blood in their bloated bodies. Granny had coughed away the entire night that left the rooster a bit confused. He paced around looking worried, hoping to reclaim his lost position.

Jaikishen had his set of worries too. He had to climb a 1000 feet of hard rock, locate the little spring that erupts out a narrow crevice, gather every dripping part of it into his pail and then descend the same 1000 feet, all the while fighting the burning sun. Life is a worry-list; as soon as you tick one, the next one starts prompting!

Jillian did have a soft corner for Jaikishen though, so granny’s cough was not her only woe. The picture of Jaikishen struggling to get to the top coupled with her wild imagery of the rumoured ape-man pouncing on her Jaikishen and tearing him to bits was equally unnerving. She decided to follow him.

He started early to avoid the burning sun and also to get Grandma well soon. He did reach the crevice and was filling his pail when it happened. Rays as hot as fire leapt at him while sweat rolled off him generously. In fact, it could even fill his pail up! Drained out of every ounce of fluid, he conked off with a few day stars fluttering around.

Meanwhile, Jillian wasn’t far behind as she had taken another path; a secret one that meandered around a cool cave but the more dangerous one - the abode of the rumored ape-man. Love can stake anything! In typical cinematic fashion, no sooner had she emerged out of the cave, set her eyes on him, bringing about a coy smile, than she was stunned to see him fall like a pack of cards. Springing to him, she sprinkled a little of the Hilimanjharo water on his thirsty face and almost as if by magic, he opened his eyes!

God knows what happened next but then they came down singing happily with the birds and the bees. A legend was in the making so Jaikishen tripped over an imaginary boulder that broke his crown and Jillian came tumbling right after him.

10 Lies about me :)

2011-03-31T17:40:00.000+05:30

1) I am very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. I share my rich emotional life and my passionate convictions with very few people. I have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which I am willing to sacrifice a great deal.

2) I am always at great pains to improve the world. I can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them.

3) I am interested in my fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once my enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, I can become a tireless fighter.

4) For me, practical things are not really so important. I only busy myself with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. My motto is “the genius controls the chaos”.

5) I am less interested in details; I prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that I still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that I overlook something important.

6) As I am very peace-loving, I tend not to openly show my dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of my strong points; I hate conflicts and competition.

7) I prefer to motivate others with my amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has me as boss will never have to complain about not being given enough praise!

8) The feelings of others are important to me and I love making other people happy. I am satisfied with just a small circle of friends; my need for social contact is not very marked as I also need a lot of time to myself.

9) Superfluous small talk is not my thing. If one wishes to be friends with me or have a relationship with me, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership.

10) I do not fall in love head over heels but when I do fall in love I want this to be a great, eternal love.

Do check out what personality type are you at http://www.ipersonic.com/ Have fun and do share yours too!

What do women of substance feel about Holi?

2011-03-20T12:13:00.002+05:30

Once upon a time, oldfox004 was on a secret mission but as usual she forgot her way and ended up meeting prominent women and also got a chance to interview them on their feelings for Holi. So here goes...

Rakhi Sawant - Oh Jessus! i loves the Holi, the rangs, the water, the innocent masti...this Holi tho i love to color my bhaiyya Mikka...he's so sweet na *does the kuchi-kuchi action

Veena Mallik - Holi? What Holi? Filhaal tho all the mulla's are labelling me 'unholi'. But, i love Ash in a very 'holi' way, kasam se! *sends a flying kiss

Shweta Thiwari - Arre yaar! I gotta wear a burqa this holi :( If Raja sees me all red and wet...??? I don't like all this skinshow and all...what will my daughter say? But, its all OK on TV, no? *kisses her daughter

Payal Rohatgi - I hate Monica, she is so fake yaar! Rahul is like my brother only. I don't like to play Holi...all that gulaal will spoil my skin na...tho phir kya dikhaungi main? I bet Monica is playing secret holi with him...$^%^&*$ *smirks

Dolly Bhindra - HOLI...HOLI....HOLI...HOLI....$%#&*%^$....HOLI KI THO....%$^(*^&*#$...nobody plays Holi with me :( *makes a horrendously scary face...i disappear in seconds

Yana Gupta - But, you know i love color....and especially colorful undies....shocking pink, neon yellow, electric blue...wow! What ? You asking me about Holi? Oh! I'm so forgetful na...I even forget to wear my colorful undy sometimes..*winks

Ekta Kapoor - Holi? Did you just say Holi? Can you see the big tikha on my forehead? I celebrate Holi with all my staff all year round...we use real blood, sacchi! *poker faced

Sonia Gandhi - Hamara Bharath mahaan desh hain...yahan Diwali, Christmas, Eid ithyadi sabhi thyohaar manaya jaatha hain...Hum sabko 'Haath' milakar rang lagana chahiye. 'Haath' ne sab ka 'Man-moh' liya hain. Bharath Mata ki Jai! Happy Holi! *waves her hand high in the air to no one in particular

Jyothi (Common girl) - Holi is nice holi-day for me. I'll do a nice oil champi and put some multani mitthi on my face. Mum will make yummy puran poli's. I'll take to office tomorrow:) *shakes delightfully

Rani (Street girl) - Hamare liye tho roj Holi hain madam..kabhie yeh mard log idhar color lagathe tho kabhie udhar...bole tho ..koi ijjath hi nahi madam...upar se complain karo tho police log bhi...#$^$%^%$ saala! *deadpan

Disclaimer: All names have been changed in order to protect their 'Real' identities. Please don't be alarmed if you find any resemblance to anybody whom you have happened to hear about even remotely. Happy Holi, guys!

उड़ रहे हैं हम जाने किस ओर. . .

2011-03-17T22:30:00.005+05:30

एक कटी पतंग की जैसी डोर

उड़ रहे हैं हम जाने किस ओर

कभी ऊँचे पेड़ो से तकराकर लहराते

तो कभी हवा के तेज़ झोकों से आज़ाद हो जाते

हैं सफ़र यह निरंथर, न रुखेगी कभी

जो मिली कुशी, तो लगे जिंदगी

और कही मिले निराशी, तो लगे बंदगी

लो बन के अरमान, हम उड़ चले

चार अक्षर ही लिखे ते नए पन्ने पर

फिर आया बुलावा - एक आवाज़ ऐसी

न चेहरा ता और न थी कोई दिलचस्पी

जब समज आया की बहुत देर हो चुकी

लो फिर निकल लिए हम बोरिया भांद कर

नए राहें और नए मंजिलों के खोज पर

एक कटी पतंग की जैसी डोर

उड़ रहे हैं हम जाने किस ओर. . .

Ithna sannata kyon hain bhai?

2011-02-25T01:38:00.001+05:30

the bells have now begun to toll

the eagles above are still midair

where have all the bloggers gone,
is Twitter and Facebook, their new lair?

Now silence ain’t generally my kinda thing. Not that anybody needs to call the cops despite threats to keep me mum. But a silence of nearly a year and a half, now that IS by far a personal record! This silence (read exile) from blogosphere is like the story of the mouse that never got caught in a roomful of mousetraps and then one fine day a hungry cat spoilt the day. But I am the little mouse that never gives up, no matter how frail my chances are! With my ever piling fiscal deficit issue coupled with non-performing assets (pun intended), I guess HE has been too kind thus far.

Well, this exile has done me a world of good and most certainly raised hope for blogosphere. What with fellow bloggers and my million plus readers falling off chairs, bouncing off walls and ceilings, jumping off their roofs and threatening to file PILs at Indiblog BUT I had no such luck. Peace reigned as usual at blogosphere and my absence was appreciated. Not that I am bawling but still a little hunger strike would have been KIND, guys.

All but one – you know there’s always an egghead – egghead meaning ‘I’ll not eat till you eat’ types. Sometimes all you need is a tummy full of words, a loosening glottis and the heart melts as if it were made of candy floss and out pop the words bringing relief at last. That’s ‘blog-o-mania’ for the uninitiated. So here I am for you, you, you and the egghead of course, my kindest four! I cannot promise to be regular though – the last time I wasn’t regular, my doc suggested de-stressing!

P.S.: Thank you all for being there! Now try saying this line 10 times: ‘A cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot’. And yes, we could meet over coffee as soon as this damn tongue of mine gets untwisted. Cheers to 2011!!!

फिर कर शुरुवात ...

2011-02-21T00:11:00.001+05:30

नन्हे क़दमों से शुरू किये

जो सफ़र कोमल हाथों के सहारे

लो आज मांगे साथ दुबारा

तुम नहीं तो जग बेगाना

फिर आ कड़ी हूँ मैं चौराहे पर

किस राह पर मंजिल लिखी हैं ?

काले बादलो से लगता हैं दर

तुम्हारे आँचल में समेट, होना हैं बेफिकर

याद हैं मुझे वो एक रूपये का सिक्का

रोज जमा कर मुझे अमीर बना देना

कब बन गयी तीन रूपये का जुगाड़

कर दिया हर नसीयत तेरी बिगाड़

लो कहो ' फिर कर शुरुवात...'

ख्वाब शीशों का नहीं, यकीन दिला दो

तुम्हारी छोटी छोटी बातों में छिपा हैं खज़ाना

लो आज मांगे साथ दुबारा

तुम नहीं तो जग बेगाना . . .

Pic courtesy : http://tweetymom.files.wordpress.com

On the threshold...

2009-07-06T00:25:00.063+05:30

My dear blogger buddies and million+ readers,

Exactly this day, last year, I published my first post and what a marvelous journey it has been thus far. The joy of seeing my words being published on the internet was ‘something’! And then finding so many excited fellow bloggers, first-time greetings turning into friendship. However, all things have to change as change is the only constant! The sole purpose behind this blog creation has been fulfilled now and I have no more words to share with this world as the urge to capture newer horizons propels me elsewhere!

This blog will now become a private dialogue space now that she has turned one! Trust me, none of my words will make sense to anyone henceforth!

I thank you all for being a part of this wonderful experience...a phase of a journey that will always remain special! To all you youngistan, soar high as you chase your dreams. To all of us wondering whether chasing our dream was a good thing and should it be continued further..well, single-minded dedication and the patience to pursue it will bring success coz that’s how HE meant it to be. To all of us who have given up, arise and begin now! Trust Life – it is the best Teacher!

OK! Enough of my wisecracks. Better leave this to the expert. Signing off now with an inspiring piece from Paulo Coelho…

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting......Before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams master the lessons we have learned as we have moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up.... (At this point) Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.”

May the force be with you

Vins the Pooh

P.S: This does not in any way mean that I will not visit you. You will still enjoy the privilege of my 'esteemed' readership!! ~~have to tolerate my nuisance~~

Sochne wali baat hain!

2009-07-04T01:04:00.000+05:30

Sorrow it was that made you strong,

Pain it was that pulled you along

what then do you seek in Happiness?

in her, no Teacher is born!

Perception personified!

2009-07-01T01:35:00.002+05:30

the abstract hits a score -

where sharp edges fear to tred

pink is no longer innocence

when the eyes begin to dread!

Will the real fat cat pls stand up?

2009-06-26T14:06:00.001+05:30

Disclaimer: Dont read this post if you do not have any kind of personality disorder.

Will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

As u crawl thru the cables, the routers and towers
As u creep in thru the network of flyers
U burn much of ur fat-ass, n the gang’s too!
U fat old cat, clearly an imposter, aint u?
So care to stand up for who u r
Who u were n ought to be…
Will the real fat cat pls stand up?

Coz I gather, u have a life as much as I do
Go live it fatty – coz It may end soon
What? Stop staring n shut the fuck up
U r the real fat cat- go on, admit it
So will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

U’ve messed up big time, u’ve lost face, he he
U’ve only begun the realisation, oldfox, aint he?
That sly n shady, rickety old fox
N sometimes the pooh in mask
Who aint got a shot!
So care to raise ur hand at least
Tomorrow u may stand up, a lil shaky beast

Tear off those masks, burn the muti-dimensionalities
Come on, admit it, u wanna break free
Will the real fat cat pls stand up?
Please stand up. Please stand up.

P.S: Dedicated to me and my million n counting readers, who wanna break free from self-illusions and identities!

A factual fiction!

2009-06-20T00:56:00.000+05:30

After she had put down the receiver…

‘Now who was that?’

‘P… who else!’

She gets ready in 5 minutes flat and rushes to the door.

‘Will be back by elevenish…don’t keep dinner for me’.

‘The same old jeans…don’t you have something that flows?’

‘O Maa, I don’t have the time to wear all that….besides he is out at the gate’.

‘Your ears look bare’.

'Maa…I can’t choose...besides what’s the need? I could do without something dazzling or dangling for now.’

‘Instead of arguing with me, go and wear something that doesn’t dazzle or dangle’.

She rushes in…

‘And while you are at it, wear a bracelet or something…’

She shouts back, ‘but I’m wearing my watch!’

‘But you have two hands, no?’

‘I give up Maa…what’s the point?’

‘What point? I like P besides who else can tolerate you?’

‘Huh! S is waiting along with P and I can hear them honking….BYE’.

In circles...

2009-06-15T23:15:00.003+05:30

Beyond the unknown, yonder our arguments
I feel your smile – the smile that knoweth all

As the eternal mystery commenced
You chose me just as I chose you
Yet I felt this choice to be in vain
Yet I was playing the denial game
All awhile, quiet annoyed with you

And as the mystery unfolded with time
Along came the storm, the surges gushed in
In all its wilderness, they snatched you within
I was left aghast, my feeble mind dislodged
For the first time I saw, that which was

You strived to not let go of me
You fumbled around helplessly
Like a true warrior, you rose above
In numbed realization, in divine bow
It was the moment of Truth for me
That which triggered a whole new quest

And in that quest I happened to see
A time, a memory, a forgotten me
In which I felt you and I felt the vast
And as it all is in a constant state of flux
A flux that drove me by kind insight
Through a journey – a bewitching flight

No matter what ebbs and tides lay in it
No matter the debates about virtue and vice
As time stills the eternal menace
I find myself moulding unknowingly
And before I saw the carvers’ knife
I had realized - I had become you
The you, I never knew about
The you with the smile that knoweth all…

P.S: Today is a special day. It is the third anniversary of my dad’s passover to the infinite skies. This poem is my message to him and I know he will understand and smile! Yes, there are mutual jokes in it :)
Sorry friends, I’ve disabled comments for this one… n thank you all for respecting the need for silence between us.

Vinphy’s Phone laws:

2009-06-13T02:24:00.002+05:30

1. The rate of battery drain increases exponentially to the rate of urgency of an expected call.

2. Just when you’re expecting the ‘Will you be mine?’ part, the battery takes a cue and plays dead.

3. ‘Roaming’ is just that – keep roaming till you find a signal.

4. ‘Happy to help you’ is an oxymoron.

5. ‘Caller tunes’ can also be called as ‘Cooler tunes’.

6. The month you had taken a ‘maun vrath’ will always have the highest bill.

7. Phone companies have a sense of humour. How else can one explain the ‘service tax’?

8. Value added services add more value to the company’s turnover.

9. The ‘mute’ button goes deaf when you speak the Truth involuntarily.

10. A dog can follow you everywhere except for closed, confined spaces eg. Toilets, lifts

11. The price of a cellphone will begin falling only after you have bought it.

12. 'Customer Care' is short for 'Customer.. Care a Damn for you'.

Point taken!

2009-06-11T02:52:00.000+05:30

The two of them were returning from the meeting point. The ‘interested party’ and the relatives who had arranged the meet were also on their way home. Now, that was three disjoint search parties in search of three absolutely different things in life.

The two of them were silent till they reached home. They had loads of talking going on in their respective heads.

The evening back at home was rather uneventful except for the occasional ‘He was well dressed’ and ‘His mom looks kind’ to ‘looks like a happy family’

The next day in the morning...

'Your cousin may call up anytime. We need to be prepared with our reply’

She was tensed to the core and not a nerve had any flow. How could she reject somebody whom her cousin had hunted down with so much love…besides, her mom will start breathing only after her wedding

‘Maa..he was well dressed and my would be maa-in-law looked so kind’.

'What? You are saying yes to that jerk. I absolutely see no match here. What’s going on in your head?’

‘Maa..you are the one fretting over my marriage always...besides, how can we say a ‘no’ to them!’

‘Huh! Forget your cousin, forget my fretting...you think I’ll marry you off to some jerk? For God’s sake…I am your mother!’

Tata Nano ghar !

2009-06-03T00:40:00.002+05:30

The common man's dreams of a home have been answered by the Tata's. Way to go....You guys rock but seriously, 218 sq ft carpet area sounds a tad too disappointing, doesn't it ?

P.S: I was just drawing my version of a 'modern' common man and then this idea clicked! I'm feeling good about this cartoon as I didn't copy or refer anything :) Hope you guys like it too! and please forgive the sad quality of the print and the ball point pen markings over pencil....

Vinphy’s AnyTimeMoney? Laws:

2009-05-30T01:16:00.003+05:30

1. An ATM is a thinking machine. It has an ego so Be Kind to it.

2. On cash-strapped days, one can see the neighborhood ATM grinning from side to side.

3. The bugs in the ATM s/w get activated at the same rate of urgency with which you need cash.

4.The amount of currency inside the ATM is inversely proportional to the amount needed.

5. The newly installed standby machines are just that – stand by.

6. The first time ATM users who are learning all the functions will almost always be before you.

7. An ATM has a soul and a karma and the money in it is an illusion.

8. God doesn’t need cash. All ATM’s are in hell.

9. The queue at the ATM is directly proportional to the urgency of cash needed.

10.‘God-damn-you!’ command to an ATM means that you want to gift your card to it.

P.S: These are my 'real life' experiences/ lessons. Please abide by them seriously.

Voices of fantasy

2009-05-22T02:02:00.008+05:30

She had heard them before. They were all there with each a story to tell; stories of wishing wells, stories of magic carpets, stories of talking mirrors, stories of flying elephants, stories of how the sea had turned yellow, stories of a world under the sea and stories about girls who heard voices from the unknown. She believed and so they came. She loved to listen to them. And when she sat up cuddled in her bed or her rocking chair all alone in her room, they would come. An invitation was just not the criteria but they weren’t quite pleased when logic surpassed fantasy. They and she were often amused at the voices of reason outside her room. Skeptical scoundrels!

And then they would begin, taking turns and sometimes pausing a little bit for her. She would jump and clap at the enchanting new world discoveries, she would howl or weep silent tears at losses or separation but best of all, sometimes she would laugh involuntarily. At times like these, they understood. They could feel the joke on her bones; the sick jokes of rational behavior, the stale jokes of believing a mirage and the eternal joke of her hallucinations. But at times like these, the ‘others’ failed miserably. The others had misapprehensions and weird notions of reality. It is this ‘others’ that sought to destroy her from herself. And they classified the ‘others’ as foes, as the stereotypical villains in their stories. But they couldn’t save her for the only protection they could offer was to come to heal her loneliness, to tell her stories from other worlds, to paint her dreams, but most of all believe in themselves so that she could believe in herself.

And when in midst of a story, she had any questions, they would respond at once without her having to ask. They could read her thoughts just as it generated with an uncanny precision known only to her. They knew her inside out; they could feel the rhythm in her veins, the impulses that soared through her back and forth, the voices of reason losing over the voices of fantasy and the myriads of colorful vibrations that enveloped her form. They would sing or dance or just rejoice at the triumphant voices of fantasy.

But then her doctor would visit and spoil it all. He had to come every fortnight or else the voices of reason would be forever lost. He injected her with a syringe and some liquid matter coursed through her veins, right to her brain like a shot to them. They at once ducked these liquid bullets of rational illusions. They, the voices of fantasy had to survive, for in their destruction lay her end and that was something they were not prepared for. They wouldn’t let the ‘others’ win. They fought with the chemical bonds in the liquid which would invariably break off. So this war would last for a week and then suitably diminish around the next week. That’s the time her doctor would visit again as per schedule. The ‘others’ could never win nor could they get rid of her ‘schizophrenic voices’.

Food for thought

2009-05-18T02:09:00.001+05:30

After she had put down the receiver…

‘That was P, right?’

‘Yes’

‘Why don’t you let him speak? You were doing all the talking’.

‘That’s how P is!’

‘Oh yeah! So many years and you tell me he prefers to listen and that too to you.’

‘Maa, he had a few questions’.

‘Huh! And you were giving answers to all the questions in this world?’

‘Hehe..he did speak a bit but how could you hear him…next time I’ll on the speaker’.

‘What do you guys keep chatting all the time?’

‘Life, politics, business ideas….gossip, philosophy and yes, mothers too’.

‘Ah that! …and what about marriage?’

‘Yeah, we talk that too. He tells me about his follies and I tell him mine. We sort of console each other. Hehe’.

‘Look girl, intellectualizing and philosophizing is good but you need to be practical too’.

‘But dad had so many sessions devoted to all this at home. And don’t forget, you made loads of chicken for all his friends.’

‘Yeah…leave all that to the men; they have the license to waste time…….besides how long do you think the philosophizing would continue on an empty stomach?

Surprise!

2009-05-15T01:29:00.001+05:30

‘Raj, I can’t depend on you. I can’t even relate to you anymore.’

‘It depends, Smita….everything is relative.’

Smita, quite disgusted, switches on the TV. Her nuclear physicist and forgetful husband could never quite get the love fusion right.

BREAKING NEWS….‘India’s pride: a team of nuclear physicists led by Dr. Rajendra Bhonsle has successfully implemented nuclear energy generation for mass consumption. He states, ‘This project will empower our villages and is the most peaceful way to show off our nuclear prowess. Peace to all’.

Smita, brushing off her tears, smiles to herself. There couldn’t have been a better birthday present.

P.S: This started as 55 fiction but somehow grew to become a Drabble, just didnt have the heart to reduce it any further. all thanks to Kartz for introducing me to this concept :)

Vinphy's Date Laws:

2009-05-14T02:05:00.002+05:30

1. Prior to the special date, a mountain of a pimple will erupt overnight.

2. A certain well-wisher will fix blind dates for you on your bad-hair days only.

3. The only dress that fit correctly will be in the laundry just before a ‘sudden date’.

4. Your mother will wash that one best-fit, never-washed jean on the day of your ‘first impression date’.

5. If your date is a secret one, you will most definitely meet your curious neighboring aunty at the neighboring table.

6. Your date will almost always arrive after you have escorted a blind old man/woman to the other side of the road and returned to the meeting spot.

7. The more expensive your date dress, the more the chances of something spilling on it.

8. Dandruff comes along with the black dress.

9. Your date will almost always be shorter than you, the one time you wear that extra high, special stilettos.

10. High hopes on your old battered car is of no use; it will run smoothly on that special long drive.

P.S: Please share if you have more and I'm sure you guys have loads to share :)

Mum !!!

2009-05-10T21:17:00.002+05:30

‘And where exactly do you think you are going?’

‘My evening walk?’

‘But, where are you heading? How long will you keep drifting? I’m getting older by the second’.

‘O maa! Not now…I don’t know whats written, do I?.... I’ll be back in an hour’.

‘Huh! But you chose to drift, didn’t you? You quit to find new paths!.....You knew what was written then? You just knew you were in a stalemate, didn’t you?’

‘NO, I didn’t know!…nor did I have any illusions…I just followed my heart’.

‘Huh! You don’t have the luxury, girl…Dreams are better at bedtime. Don’t chase an illusion. You will only fall flat with a void too tough to handle alone’.

‘Maa, I don’t know about my dreams or what I am in for. And the recession isn't helping either! The thing I’m sure about is, that, I came back for you….Bye..will be back in an hour…keep the dough ready'.

Hope against hope?

2009-05-09T14:01:00.002+05:30

He always wanted to make it big. He always wanted to leave a legacy. And this bright morning, as he stood outside the hot Mumbai studio, he knew his time had come. The auditions were going on in full swing. Mr. Doyle, the new age Robinhood, was making a realistic movie about his folks. They all knew he should be the lead actor. Who else can dance in shit without raising a stink? The movie was rumored to cater to the world’s elite, the world's most civilised people. And then the ‘other’ side would know. O how the West was won!

At last his dreams would come true. So, with a pure intention and a noble cause he marched right ahead into the auditioning rooms. He cleared the dialogue rendition and a dance round with some number like…ding ding dinga with much ease. The final round was a personal interview with Mr. Doyle.

‘So tell me, Shera, why do you think you should play the lead role?’

‘Sir, you are making a movie about scum and squalor rising towards change, a movie of hope against hope and Sir, I am the ‘real’ thing. I actually live in those slums. My folks and I have tough lives but tougher dreams, Sir. We want to bring in a change. Who better than me, Sir? You and I shall win the West. Together, we can and we will. The twain shall meet, Sir.'

Mr. Doyle smiled. Shera knew that he had him there. Wagging his tail with sheer excitement, he headed towards his home with his chest held high in the air. Every dog has his day!

The results were out a few days later. Some outsider by the name of Damal would play the slumdog! And rumor has it that Shera has been chained ever since the first day of the shoot, due to a sudden 'biting' spree.

Love!

2009-05-03T11:12:00.001+05:30

Honey, isn’t my nose big?
No sweetheart, your face is small.

…..after 10 years
Honey, am I looking fat?
No sweetheart, these pants are the wrong size.

….after 20 years
Honey, am I drooping?
No sweetheart, even gravity loves you so.

....after 30 years in holy matrimony
Honey, do you believe that ‘Love is Blind’?

The Irony!

2009-04-29T00:56:00.002+05:30

“woh jannat ki khoj mein nikla hain…
uske liye Mecca bhi door nahi,
apni begum ki izzath se beparvaah
nikla hain tere khoj mein eh Allah !…"

Thus concluded the fakir amidst much applause.

‘Wah wah wah!”, praised the old Sheikh in delight and quickly got up, shoving his new virgin bride all of 12.

P.S: Please forgive the hindi-urdu mix-up if any. Also, here's the translation for Karthik, Kanagu n Lance:
"He has left in search of heaven...
Even Mecca is not far for him,
He doesn’t care to respect his wife
He has left in search of u, O Allah!.."

Hope

2009-04-27T00:45:00.002+05:30

“What is this life if not about agony, despair and sorrow?” cried the young medical intern at the government hospital.

Blood, tears and mutilated bodies dwarfed his vision as the uninvited tremors had uprooted thousands. His young blood, infuriated.

“No, it isn’t…”, stated the nurse, ‘…the lady in bed 8 has just delivered a baby!”

Beauty and the life rainbow...

2009-04-18T01:46:00.002+05:30

And just when I had begun enjoying the concept of life akin to chasing a rainbow and actually riding on it, along comes my old friend and blows it up! Remember my parlor wala fiasco and that girl who after much pleading and lauding finally relented to do the mowing ? I had sworn never to go there even at the risk of frightening the kids and adults alike in the family and elsewhere. But time and eyebrows wait for no man err..woman. Their collective desires conspired with the universe to literally push me there.

It so happened that I had reached this other parlor just a moment before they shut-shop for the day, even though I had ventured out early but its just that my day starts in the evening and boy! what a day..There were no parlors in my line of sight and the ones which 'seemingly' looked like parlors and catered to both men and women didnt seem worth it. Also, as I'm the chosen one and carry the thunder cloud right above me, it would so happen that there would be a raid the very moment I set foot to ask if this is 'indeed' a place where they 'cut and trim' hair or thread eyebrows. I could already sense the triumphant joys on the cops faces for catching me young at this Godforsaken place and teaching me a lesson. The probability is that this may happen like once in a million times when the cops were not 'catered to', but I'm sure it was waiting to happen as soon as I would set foot, rather it would be favorable only when I set foot. Period.

But I am not as stupid as I seem to look. So, I did not set foot in the 'all-in-one' parlor ! That left me again at sea, where do I go for a decent threading job? The usual parlor seemed quite decent and hey..what the heck..she isn't the only girl there. If she is hell bent on making me feel like a disgrace to feminine beauty, I would replace her with the other efficient (read humane) girls. So, I go in there but alas they too were getting ready to shut-shop. And if Truth be told, who the hell am I kidding...I'm no celebrity. Let that be my self-promotion tactic for blogsville. The owner told me to come back tomorrow within the stipulated time. Ohh Well..yes madam! Needless to say that 'the girl' was super delighted to see the disappointment writ large across my face which was now resembling the debutant Karishma Kapoor with her squirrel-tailed eyebrows! I did not see the looks on the other girls though.

I walk out with my face down and the life rainbow somehow had transformed into a grayscale image. I was too ashamed to walk back home and scare the kids yet again. So I take this long walk on the highway, reminiscing on the parlor wali girl's inhuman gesture and how all the parlors conspired to boycott me. It's not as if I were walking around with a walrus moustache or a goatee, but I almost felt like I was!

I was nearly half way up the highway when a girl caught up with me and asked me whether I had come to the parlor some time back. She was very beautiful, the kinds a guy would take home to his parents. I faintly recognised her since she wasn't in her uniform. I said yes. She asked me what exactly I had come for. I replied. She eyed my eyebrows sympathetically and told me to visit the parlor tomorrow without any further delay. As an urgent emergency procedure, she even offered to come home with me and operate upon me! I declined her 'over humane' gesture but inside I was very happy that a beautiful parlor-wali girl cared for me. I laughed at the walrus moustache and the goatee I had been wearing on my mind sometime back. Hmmm...and the life rainbow burst with colors once again!

P.S: I so love these beauty parlor-wali girls:)

I love only you...

2009-04-15T01:24:00.008+05:30

"sweetheart, do you really think I'm a womanizer?"

Silence.

"I love you sweets".

A fragrant feminine breeze...then a pair of sexy stilettoes tread outside the office corridor.

"sweets, I...", juggling between her tears and the nearing stilettoes.

.... "love only.....". The stilettoes struggle at the e-access.

He dashes to the door.

"Hi!...new joinee ?"

P.S: This is my first attempt at 55 fiction. Hope you guys like it!

The evil in me (a retourne)

2009-04-11T01:51:00.002+05:30

too conscious to evolve am i

under his sly, scrutinous eyes

they survive on eternal seduction

for him no bell tolls, for he no longer dies

under his sly, scrutinous eyes

i lay defeated in unholy highs

as Satan's spider twines and swings

an evil gossamer binds my wings

they survive on eternal seduction

his proverbial snake at the alter of suffocation

his action impromptu, my wrath undefined

i lay in chaos, my ideals crucified

for him no bell tolls, for he no longer dies

for all that is evil in my dark insides

is a manifestation of him, a hungry parasite

he is in me and i am his host entwined!

***

P.S: This was my first attempt at a retourne, inspired by Kartz!

Farewell to a Star...

2009-04-07T01:24:00.002+05:30

with hope, you lit up our lives

with compassion, you touched our souls

every single day, in every passing moment

you taught us love and its inherent sacrifice

in the short time that you were here

we wonder why He called you there

it’s just too early, just not fair

may the Lord bless your soul

may you never cease to shine

on this crossover divine

P.S: Dedicated to Tina who is no more amongst us. Wish I could know you more, girl!

A day at the Pilikula zoo!

2009-04-06T01:24:00.004+05:30

Deep in the heart of Mangalore in the southern state of Karnataka lies the Pilikula zoo - Pili for tiger and kula for lake, all because some tigers used to jam together at this cave after a fun-filled session at the nearby lake. Vin was brave enough to go inside this cave, have a tête-à-tête and above all click a snap of the resting tigers who were quite amazed at being photographed in their natural habitat where no mortal human dares to enter. Both mother and cub have obliged to pose for the shutterbugs. Aren't they cute? OK! They aren't real...but had I been there hundreds of years back, I would have shot them live, I swear :)

Last month I had received a mail from Tips4Me.com where a kind and rather knowledgable lady called 'Rachel Fernandes' sent me a mail describing the five largest birds in the world. I faintly remember reading about the Emu and never expected in my wildest dreams to ever be so close to one. Here's a picture I clicked from as close as comfortably possible and the information that Rachel shared with me...

It is one of the largest bird's native to Australia. These soft-feathered, brown, flightless birds reach up to 2 meters (6.6 ft) in height. They can travel great distances at a fast, economical trot and if necessary, can sprint at 50 km/h (31 mph) for some distance at a time.

If the Emu were small, it would not strike a chord, rather it has a stupid looking face and manner, but its sheer size and powerful legs made me wonder whether it has got anything to do with the law of natural selection by Darwin and I guess by all means it has evolved directly from the dinosaur. This one seems to be saying just that to me and adding 'I could smash you to pulp, woman!' But we both knew 'Thank heavens for this wired fence!'

P.S: I so wish I had a powerful camera with zoom et al. Now, I dont have any proof that I played hide-n-seek with Mr. & Mrs. Lion and I hugged this gigantic bear and I went roller skating with the sweet panthers and I was almost tickled to death by cute alligators.

Do visit this zoo if you happen to be in Mangalore since none of the wild animals are in cages or practically malnutritioned as is the usual state in most Indian zoos. And yes, dont forget to take a powerful longrange camera with you!

Pooh, older n wierder!

2009-04-04T13:25:00.002+05:30

As birthday wishes came flying by, while the pooh was happily lazing away in her 100-acre forest, life did a somersault or two, but the pooh is not quite sure and wondering whether she’s moving in circles. Whether the so-called rat race is really a means to the end or to the beginning of transformation?

Why all of nature is just being and being amazingly happy at that? Why the oceans never meet the skies yet love each other and live in perfect harmony? Why the salty sea breezes that were so much fun in childhood, now become a threat to my skin and hair – my outward mask? Why the eagles fly so high when their prey is anyways miles down? Why some flowers are in love with the sun and simply refuse to open their petals on sundown? Why is every creature so happy in Mother Earth’s lap and what went wrong with us? Why the heck am I asking these questions when answers are again puny in the vast open secrets of Nature?

P.S: It is my Happy Birthday today and I am back from a wonderful vacation, hopefully to a more fulfilling existence. Innocence lost its charm and blogging has somehow taken its place to pen down weird streams of thoughts but there is hope. These weird streams of thoughts will not be so frequent anymore since the pooh has found something weirder elsewhere!

The Common Man’s Rap song!

2009-03-27T01:26:00.001+05:30

yippie! It's election time again. As all our beloved parties have made up their campaign numbers, we, the common men and women too need a song, don't we? So, here goes the Common Man's rap song...

[Chorus]

yeah! coz
nothin’s gonna take it
away from me
nothin’s gonna change it
for your end is me
chuck it or fake it..yeah
yeah…chuck it or fake it
no bugger is gonna make it…

[Verse 1]

i’m off the track n i’m beginnin to lose it
i have high BP as all you do is TP
O shucks! damn your rottin n-e-t-a-giri
you come knockin on our doors
you beg for votes, spend a fortune on hopes
for your creepy little ****holes
O shucks! damn your rottin c-h-a-m-c-h-a-giri

[Chorus repeat]

[Verse 2]

i’m sick n nauseous n ever ready to throw up
O this carbon dioxide n other oxides make me suck up,
this road on the vehicles is driving me mad
as little vermins are scattered around quite bad
that lady I see, IS ain’t gonna m-a-k-e it
she walks the tight rope, Huh! BIG hope
woman n child, you use to cover your a**
O shucks! damn your rottin d-e-v-e-lopment plans

[Chorus repeat]

[Verse 3]

i’m walkin past trains, i’m walkin past planes
blasts don’t scare me, as i duck a bullet or two
my coffers are ever dry as you pocket all my taxes
O shucks! damn your healthy life n lapses
wanna blacken your face, point a finger at you
damn! my morals ain’t give me that space
O shucks! damn me… as I’m not a menace
this every common man’s r-e-a-l-i-t-y

[Chorus repeat]

P.S. : the rap style i imagined is Eminem n maybe he could team up with Jazzy B n i must thank Peter for the rap inspiration n hot news is that the pooh is gonna be away to her 100-acre woods n would return on the fourth day of the fourth month...i can see Karthik already jumping up n down! Ciao, folks!

Kasab and Karma!

2009-03-23T00:05:00.002+05:30

In 1947, India faced an uncertain yet jubilant future sparked by the British retreat. The Congress and the Muslim league had major difference of opinion regarding the new independent nation. Jinnah of the Muslim league was of the ideology that a new nation needs to be established purely based on the Quran - the holy book of Islam and that true followers of Islam will not find justice in an independent India or Hindustan or Land of the Hindus. Gandhi, the apostle of non-violence, the father of the nation gave his nod. The British got to divide her although they no longer would rule!

Like every birth involves the umbilical separation, an emotionally evolving process, the birth of the new nation was too. It became to be called the ‘Partition’ and that new piece of land called Pakistan or the ‘Land of the Pure’.

In this Land of the Pure, some twenty years ago a boy named ‘Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab’ was born. They taught him Urdu and the Quran. They taught him the religious ways of what they believed to be pure and also the need to cleanse the impure as per the holy Quran. He believed that the Quran indeed sanctions killing innocents to restore the purity. He learnt dutifully as any staunch Muslim would do and should do.

He came to Mumbai along with nine other such ‘misled’ young boys on a cleansing mission. They did manage to cleanse the corruption that was quite rampant in Mumbai power circles but Allah knows if they cleansed any of the ‘impure’! Allah knows who’s mission it was that got fulfilled! They triggered quite a hysteric reaction among the common people who didn’t know where to go for help. Unfortunately, the other nine died in their cause, leaving Kasab to come to terms with his ‘learnings’ and the ‘fruits of his labor’. He does this in Arthur road jail in central Mumbai which is in the Land of the Hindus by the way.

Whiling away his time in prison, as Hindustan and Pakistan fight it out with a 11,000 page charge sheet against him, Karma, the cycle of cause and effect brings him face to face with Truth and Non-violence. He now reads the Urdu translation of the Mahatma’s autobiography ‘The Story of My Experiments with Truth’. Nearly, sixty years have passed with this influential book circling around the globe, but was there any possibility that this boy would read this book in the very land his ancestors had chosen to abandon?

And when the golden sun was setting...

2009-03-21T01:40:00.000+05:30

When the golden sun was setting…

amongst the countless rivers flowing

from the purity of thy bosom

there emerged a beautiful rose

the one that beholds, bewitches

but can prick without a spell

To be swept away, thorn and all

down deep valleys, trembling past

the currents crashing, nature’s fury

the rocks striking, nature’s jury?

alas! neither current nor rock

could break her spirit, as she glides by

Downstream she floats, now placid

across little hammocks, little pebbles

a bunch of kids are struck in awe

amidst the enchanting spell

she casts upon her beholders

Lazily she calms down, her strife was of yore

amidst the old hamlet’s tranquil pond

the water is turbid and quiet now

underneath it hid creatures, big and small

does each have a story

of its downstream journey?

Then arose a moon, which lit up the sky

captured by the pond as a billion stars shone by

she glances at her mirror, her resting place

and now it’s her turn to be enthralled

by nature’s tricks and plays!

For there lay on the surface,

an image so heavenly

they may call it a lotus,

a flower with a thousand petals

to be serenaded amongst the murk

to be worshipped with the gods

so, doth the name alter thy strife?

She closes off her petals and sinks for the night

to be awake, to rise and to shine

to welcome at the break of dawn

the golden sun that arises yet again.

to be called a lotus, o! so pure, so divine!

When Ms. Junglee barged into the beauty parlor...

2009-03-19T01:19:00.002+05:30

It was quite a dull day yesterday, though the spring has just sprung fresh warmth everywhere. Sadly, she couldn’t feel a thing. It was all hazy with some kind of fog wherever her eyes moved. On a day like this, a flavored tea would be quite potent to shoo away the fog. Alas! The haze was still there…

Life was calling but where was she? She, the favorite, she the damned soul, she the inspiration behind every murphy’s law, she the Frankensteinne! She glances at the mirror, just a second lesser than one can begin to say ‘F-R-A’, before the reflection gets misty. And what does she notice…a jungle complete with flora and fauna right above her eyes!

She zooms across to the nearest beauty parlor in sight and with God’s grace, they let her in.

Now what happened is the real ‘horror’ part of this post. She became ‘The lady in question’. They glared at her in utter disappointment with a look which seemed to say ‘ how-the-f**k-do-you-think-we-can-help-you’. If she could bury her head, she would do that right away!

Whoever said that eyebrows need to be threaded and not mowed down could well…just be proved wrong! After a hell lot of begging, the parlor wali girl relented and proceeded with her gardening tools err beauty tools. She gave her a decent brushing down too and I mean that literally.

Spring is all blooming now in bright colors and the haze has vanished. She now looks at the mirror till as long as one can say ‘Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the brightest of them all?’

P.S: And need I even state the obvious – I so hate these beauty parlor- wali girls:)

The 25 wala bug!

2009-03-15T02:50:00.001+05:30

OK! Here goes my 25, thanks to Sawan who will never fail to tag me.

1. I love blue (mind you, I’m referring to the color here, as in RGB= 0,0,255)

2. I love wolves and I love sheep too, it’s only when the wolves come in sheep skin, I turn into a werewolf!

3. Think twice when you say ‘Get Lost!’ to me, coz I usually get lost as a rule twice a month! I once got lost near my home while I was returning home after midnight! Nothing to worry about really…its called ‘directional disillusionment’.

4. I cry when I’m happy too, so you may see me crying most of the time!

5. I am a die-hard dreamer. Staring at nothingness is my favorite past time!

6. I am a gypsy at heart. I want to tent all over our beautiful planet.

7. I love the hills; I feel I am as old as the hills. I would like to have my dream home somewhere at the peak with only ‘blue’ skies to watch outside my window.

8. I love tea, especially the ginger or cardamom flavored. I dream of sipping such tea while dreaming as I look out of the window of my dream home!

9. I dream about baby fingers and toes – this could be a maternal instinct, I don’t know.

10. I love food. I could eat anything that is yum including baby-fingers!

11. I have grown up happily suffering from IBS – Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome. I never imagine any body from the ‘real’ world. It has to be a ‘special’ soul and most definitely on the moon playing away his lute.

12. I am a terror of a daughter to my mom. I blame her for everything right from giving birth to me to loving me till suffocation to the misuse of nuclear power! Poor mom! May no mom ever have a daughter like me :)

13. I don’t believe in superstitions even though my mom drills so many into my peanut brains. I do everything opposite to annoy her and disprove the myth about them.

14. I cannot whistle.

15. I had 33 teeth.

16. In my entire childhood, I asked only one toy from dad – a bat and ball to play cricket with! A blue balloon was the usual one I got without asking.

17. I want to do something for physically challenged people.

18. I don’t know if I will freeze on a stage, coz my ‘teaching’ job at NIIT killed that ‘freeze nerve’ long back. And now that I am gonna be a celebrity, I better get used to crowds!

19. I am the best under pressure. So I hardly do much when there is no rhyme or reason.

20. Still I don’t know why I bashed up a little boy when I was in kindergarten???

21. I once tasted blood since this boy who was my partner in std III got badly bruised and told me to suck out all the blood flowing out otherwise he would die right away of sepsis!

22. Amongst all the men who deserted me, ‘Dad’ is still the one, my only Hero…I simply cannot be angry with him. Dad, I love you so and badly miss you too. (in case you read this!)

23. I believe in HIM since no other explanation can be had for the miracles he has wrought upon me.

24. I have been blessed with friends whose Friend-ship help me sail across smoothly in the sea of life!

25. ’25’ swapped across to become ‘52’ during kindergarten…I may have been mildly dyslexic.

26. I am tough competition to Ravan. He he ha ha ha ha... he he ha ha ha ha…

27. I nearly wish to be invisible sometimes – I get scared when people stare!

28. I live in extremes; either over-excited or over-sad :)

29. Oops! I have crossed the tag limit in my over-excitement!!

30. To round off at 30, last but not the least, Sawan is also my first blogger buddy, thanks Sawan saar, its been a beautiful journey thus far.

P.S: Phew!!!! (Vin shakes her head and wonders)– how do I filter out such tag requests/ demands ? 25 oh come on…my fans need more of me!
Please consider yourself tagged when you have read until here.

Atif - older and better!

2009-03-12T00:23:00.000+05:30

Har dua mein shamil tera pyaar hai

Bin tere lamha bhi dushwar hai

Dhadhkon ko tujhse hi darkar hai

Tujhse hai rahtein

Tujhse hai chahtein

Tu jo mile ek din mujhe

Mein kahin ho gayi lapata...

Kar diya Deewana dard-e-Kash ne

Chain cheena isqh ke ehsaas ne

Bekhayali di hai tere pyaas ne

Chaya suroor hai

Kuch to zaroor hai

Yeh dooriyan

Jeene na de

Hal mera tujhe na pata...

Atif, I love you, Atif, I love you...

so...Atif, I love you

Oh I love you!

P.S: Atif, just in case you read this, here's wishing you a million and still counting... happy returns of the day!

Keep rocking...you simply never cease to amaze me every new number you sing...you rule, man..you simply do!

Pics courtesy: http://atif-aadeez.blogspot.com/

Happy Holi !

2009-03-11T02:04:00.000+05:30

P.S: Introducing... Baby Rover! He's wishing you all a very happy Holi. May your day be as colorful as Life itself. Happiness Always !

The Pooh has been interviewed!

2009-02-28T14:38:00.005+05:30

If ever there is something called 'Last day Last show', then it is this!

The Pakistani Spectator (TPS) has interviewed me, an avid, rocking and happening blogger just in time before I go for a 'personal' break. Do read it at leisure in the 'celebrity' interviews section as it is quite an exhaustive one. OK, not in 'celebrities' but the general blogger interview section here. The pooh feels this to be her fifteen minutes of fame, so whom does one blame?

Well, one of the editors, Ghazala Khan sent me an email requesting an interview. I obliged since the pooh will be away for some time to her hundred-acre woods to steal loads of honey and such interview requests come only but once in a while to poor pooh. I, so thoroughly enjoyed answering her questions and hope you guys do not sleep half way through! And if you do, then you know whom to blame!

But, you can put the blame on me...you can put the blame on me...I'm off to steal my honey!

and remember.....

"Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing".

P.S: Do check out The Pakistani Spectator (TPS). I found it to be quite a candid and interesting read for all Indians.

The story of my experiments with Truth!

2009-02-27T02:29:00.021+05:30

They say, ‘One has to burn to be able to rise from the ashes; the one who can rise thus is unconquerable, the invincible’. This is the only Greek mythology that still remains engraved deep in my heart by virtue of the mythical firebird ‘Phoenix’. I liked the concept so much that ‘Phoenix’ became my email password most of my life! The Phoenix has a lifespan of nearly 500 to 1000 years, towards the end it builds a nest around itself and burns along with it, and only from the ashes is a young Phoenix born or rather a new Phoenix arises! This too will live a complete life and then evolve in much the same way. Maybe, the Greeks have branded our ‘Garuda’ as ‘Phoenix’, but I love the phrase – Phoenix, Return from the Ashes!

So often we come across our life floating past our very own eyes and we have no control over it. Then, one wonders - ‘Why me?’, but trust me when I say, the question should really be – ‘Why not me?’ Our spirit only knows to fly, though the perceived environment has conditioned us to never fly, to never experience the Truth as we may not be particularly armed to fight the ‘real’ Truth. When Neo is given a choice between the red pill and the blue pill to his question of “What is the Matrix?, he is confronted with two things – one take the blue pill and merely exist in the ‘known, or take the red pill, know the mystery about Matrix and risk the present comforts to a harsh reality which may even be brutal. In our sub-conscious minds, we all are asking that question every moment, and in asking that question every moment, we evolve every moment. Every momentary choice defines our next moment and thus defines our life. So, the question - ‘Which pill?’ is really about ‘What life do I want to lead and how can I rise from the ashes - how can I be invincible?’

I am at this crossroad now and I shall emerge from the ashes hopefully! I need a sojourn with ‘myself’ – my inner being. Each one of you have been my Teachers and with the wise lessons learnt, I need to embark on this journey – the journey of self-discovery! I will return but ‘when’ is the unknown ‘X’ here.

As an ancient Chinese proverb says , “When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other” , so I am off to buy my lily!

God Bless You all…..Be happy always!

Tagged - A Photo Story!

2009-02-26T02:05:00.006+05:30

He was frail now, as frail as the grass underneath the bench. He knew his fingers had started shaking again. He joined them tight across his folded knees and began to wonder, "How long?" He was tired and this evening that he sat on the park bench symbolised the evening of his life too. He longed for the night - the night of his life.

Every little wish of a child cannot be fulfilled for want of a slightly higher need and bread was indeed necessary than an admission to kindergarten. So, Anna being the eldest took to the family profession of tailoring. He did the measuring and the sizing with precision but one hardly ever saw a 'measuring tape or scale' in his shop. Years passed by, Anna grew up, the only tailor in town to sew the best for the best though he was un-lettered. His siblings were posted in government agencies by virtue of their literacy. So, Anna brought the family a notch above. Bread is good but not better than school.

But, little Anna had a wish - he wanted to go to school, he wanted to read, write and sing just like the children at the nearby school. The wish died as he had grown up. Learning the letters seemed unnecessary and he could fend for himself and his siblings. He improved with every suit and sometimes was even amazed with the precision perfect cutting! Still, he just couldn't feel the calm - the kind of calm that comes to a man who has found his calling in life. He felt like a light-house keeper, the old man who does his duty, watching endless horizons of black, blue or green and sometimes with the sun playing along, he would be treated to reds, golden yellows and vermillion. Days merged into nights and the horizon would disappear, but the light house never failed to guide the ships that roamed the nights.

Who takes care of the light-house keeper? Well, alcohol did for Anna. He took to drinking like a baby turtle to the sea. He drowned in its many flavors but was awake somehow at the sewing machine. Days merged into nights and slowly into years...Anna had made a name, Anna was the very symbol of sacrifice and hardwork. But, one day he coughed and coughed and spewed out blood - his liver gave way.

His nieces take care of him now; they teach him the alphabets but he cannot seem to have any control on his shaky fingers. He can read and sing but he still longs to write...

Moral: Nature has its own way and takes its own sweet time in fulfiling our desires. Be patient and trust in the forces. There is always an "and it happened" moment some time.

P.S: This is my feeble attempt at meaningful fiction. I am thankful to Kanagu for tagging me with this wonderful idea. I tag all my blogger buddies and request you to weave a story around any photo in your pics folder. Sorry Kanagu, I relaxed the rules a bit. By the way, this was the last photo in my favorite photos folder and it was the fifth!

The Age of Innocence

2009-02-20T01:45:00.000+05:30

jasmines adorned her soot hued hair

some dad’s little princess, wasn’t she?

a sari the pride of a cherry draped

carefree in cheap gold embroidery

faux gems serve to fill the void

a void ciphering into another

some mum’s dream come true alas

cat calls welcome her as she dares

to roam amongst the fortunate us

she is the queen of the streets

her strides, magnificent and bold

enchanting, enamoring, enticing

despite the weather so cold

‘if he were here, o if only he were here,

i would seldom walk one step more’

her thirst for love, an unfulfilled desire

her clothes are often torn apart

many a man has left his stench

but not one dares to steal her heart

‘won’t mum teach me to sew?

wont she come to purify –

the scents of sins stacked within?’

her eyes moisten reminiscing

the ghosts of an era bygone

yet she seeks a path; a fresh, raw path –

unexplored, holding promises galore

wiping her tears, she seeks to return;

a return to the Age of Innocence

‘dad, mum, where are you?

the hide n seek is past due

i wish no more to breathe

this stench of other’s sins

i want to smell the warmth

of the purest form of love

so, take me in your arms

as I end this wretched bond’,

so saying she ends her beat

**********

I have a dream…

2009-02-19T13:53:00.001+05:30

All of us do – just that one dream to live for! Mine keeps waxing and waning along with the germs up there, now you know where. The same old culprits who play Pac-man with the map I so painstakingly etch in my mind. As I was day dreaming for today’s quota, as per my personal timetable, I had an ‘idea’ and what an idea, sirjee! Also to mark the moment, a light bulb did flash – ting!

What if, the scientists at NASA take up my case on priority and keep those goddamn space aeronautics studies on hold and provide me some ‘navigational’ moral support in my space? Come on, guys! Can’t you devise a gadget and insert into my brain, much like the game Pac-man, only the villains would be the new heroes. It would work somewhat like this: I draw my map, the nasty germs begin gobbling it up, the gadget is triggered to shoot little things (I don’t know what to name them but have envisioned them like the ones in picture), these things will go right after the germs and gobble them back, yeah, that sounds so good… Tit for tat!

My map would be secure and losing my way would be a thing of the past. I could then also volunteer as a guide for this otherwise complex metro. Yey! There must be a few thousands like me at least, and the additional thousands in the form of harassed passers- by who have to go out of their way to show us our way. Considering these large numbers, it is definitely a noble project worth taking up to ensure world peace.

And I do know about GPS enabled gadgets which work along with google maps but what about a tiny creak of a road, the kinds where the tiny creeps in my brain will have a field day? Either, you customize google maps for me, or you make my tiny Pac-man fighter and I’m sure this would be akin to moonwalk for you. So, all the best, guys! And, do not give moronic excuses like – we don’t do this, we love rocket science, etc.

Wanted: A Knight in matte cotton shirt!

2009-02-15T13:21:00.002+05:30

Well, I’m no more a teenager with stars in my eyes and I’m ages away from being referred to as an adult female homo sapien. Now imagine me singing that Britney number – I’m not a girl…not yet a woman, but please, without her curves for Christ’s sake, mine are better! I am single now by choice but in love with my teddy who reciprocates unconditionally. So, one may safely presume that I’m stuck somewhere in a time warp! I also suck at every day relationships right from the traffic policeman, the building dog and her newborn litter, the crows nesting outside my kitchen window right up till the society watchman and the Sai baba temple pujari besides. Nobody seems to acknowledge my presence. I am the living dead or the dead living! And, my mum thinks only a man can save me now by way of marriage to me, Poor man!

So, is marriage the ‘be all and end all’ to a girl’s identity? Well, maybe! Every goddamn form wants to know your father and/or husband’s name. But, I’m in no hurry, I like it when the dogs stay away from me and I don’t find crows any cuter; what to say about the other ‘assorted’ folks, I come across every day if relatives are not enough punishment already! This is what I gather from their eyes, nose, ears et al except their tongue - Oh, She is waiting for Mr. Right! She is expecting Pierce now, and I mean like ‘N-O-W’! She thinks she is the diva queen- all this with giggles and muffled jokes doubting my sexual preferences. So, I take this opportunity to all and sundry – I am straight, very much straight, and as straight as a line joining two imaginary points anywhere and as straight as a light ray. I am not waiting for Mr. Right; he is as common a sight as an UFO (unidentified flying object). Well, I am no diva queen or any other queen either; I am just a girl at heart with dreams of an enchanting home somewhere bubbling with my kids and my partner for life.

So, all I want is one common man – any man with loads of common sense and can see through the obvious. Most definitely loaded with fresh jokes on him at all times. He should preferably be dressed up in matte cotton shirts only, I don’t fancy ‘shining armour’ anymore; you see I’m not into fairy tales and ‘happily ever after….’ fantasies. Apart from the usual attributes of TDH (tall-dark-handsome), absolutely great sense of responsibility, great conversationalist, great listener, great lover, best friend, the better cook, the hygienically-inclined, the ability to withstand female nagging, the supreme strength to change diapers every hour and that too cheerfully, genuine love for my folks – especially my mum, etc. etc., I want only an extra bit thrown for good measure to be referred to as my Mr. Right and that would be - ‘He should simply love me for no rhyme or reason’. I abhor terms and conditions in love and will go to any length to break all of them intentionally. Now, is this asking for too much?

Maybe, yes! Apart from the cotton shirt, how can one man alone be gifted so? So, nowadays I have started thinking on these lines – my preferences and the ultimate choice or the world’s preferences and a so called compromise! And I have come to this - I’m pretty soon going to forget the very essence of marriage if all these attributes are not present in a single man. Isn’t it exciting to be single and mingle with all the separate aforementioned men? Or, I will just place a finger on any of the profiles placed in front of me and make my mum and the other ‘interested parties’ happy?

Our dear Rover is in love!

2009-02-14T01:45:00.005+05:30

P.S: I can't believe my eyes when Rover does so many things with my mouse and MS Paint, anyways let us all wish him a very happy Valentine's Day!

Untitled

2009-02-13T01:00:00.016+05:30

strutting around, my placid plume,

the breeze sways along with me

a sashay escapes, timidity I presume

though ‘m brighter than thou today

can thee not fathom the depths

that lay within my core?

does it not give thee joy

that I am near my source?

thy heart, thy soul, the wise one’s told

was built brick by brick,

over setting suns and moons

yonder the mirage in the sand dunes.

then, does it not bleed if I am pricked,

or is it the cactus, now dearer to thou?

the warmth is no more,

it’s all a name game

who said thus, which is naught,

what is sin, which is not,

why the fuss and cry throughout?

why gift pain in lieu of love?

the heart is love , nay, nothing else

breathe and let go is nature’s plea

thou ruled by vanity, thy pride crushed

come, topple my inner castle

built with the grace of Almighty

come, trounce upon my plumes

if it doth make thee happy?

******

The God of big and small Terrorists!

2009-02-12T03:16:00.021+05:30

Kasab killed Karkare, Salaskar and Kamte: Mumbai police
No bullet hit Kasab, no active treatment on, says hospital’s dean
Kasab squeals, nails Lashkar role in attack
Ex-soldier trained terrorists, says Kasab
Kasab says his father sent him to LeT
Kasab not Pak national, says Pak minister
Pakistan officially admits Kasab its national !!
Pak's another lie nailed, Kasab well and alive
Pak registers case against Kasab under Terror Act !!
Kasab's DNA matches imprints on hijacked trawler
Underworld may be out to kill Kasab
India waiting for Pak's response, cautious about Kasab reports

………………and the list of Kasab headlines keeps getting bigger and bigger and I wont be surprised anymore if this will grow along with Kasab and die off along with him either entering old age or death in some obscure high security prison either in India or Pakistan!

Ever since the gruesome 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks, I see, read and hear the name ‘Kasab’ just about everywhere – in newspapers, in news channels, in gossip. And every time I see, read or hear ‘Kasab’, I try to join the little bits and pieces of the Mumbai massacre like a giant jigsaw puzzle but alas, I don’t seem to progress anywhere at all. Every two days there is a contradiction and then we even had Pakistan claiming that Kasab is dead! What a f*****g joke!

We, the highly intelligent Indians are proud of our national heritage and history but forever in need of other countries to solve our domestic issues. A bunch of kids wade through the waters and create havoc along their trail killing nearly 200 people and injuring many more. One of them is caught alive after a much dramatized capture by the National Security Guards and the world isn’t spared afterwards too… the national media along with their equally incapable counterparts from the international scene break in for a piece of the pie.

Anybody and everybody wants to showcase to the world that they have better ‘analysis’ of the entire psychology behind this ghastly attacks. Pakistan is confused about what to say and what to hide – what with their own home-grown backyard terrorists pointing a gun at them and making them repeat like parrots. One day Kasab is a non-state actor, the other day he is dead and next day he is not the one whom India claims was present at the scene of crime. BS!!

And all this while Kasab has been singing like a canary after being televised live with his weapons and plan of attack/strategy, either to mislead or out of utter resignation from his alma mater and godfathers residing there. He is only 21, he might as well start writing his autobiography right away of his so-called adoption and the subsequent abandonment by the non-existing father and godfathers. Or he could request the humanitarians to get him transferred to Tihar jail where he could further his creative pursuits, do an MBA or Phd in humanity or transform into an ‘enlightened’ being - ‘Swami Kasabananda’, what with meditation being a daily norm there!

I’m sure that Ramu or some bollywood director is scripting Kasab’s story as I type this and will only get it out after 10 years or so for fear of being judged as unpatriotic or ‘money-digger’. I’m also sure that the only human being on earth – Arundhati Roy is writing her next ‘booker prize’ story on Kasab!

And I’m dead sure that there is indeed a ‘God of big and small Terrorists’ somewhere in Indian-occupied / Pakistan occupied piece of land / water, who protects the fallacies of ‘self-appointed-ethnic-cleansing’ organizations and their innocent lackeys operating in non-states and other not surprisingly ‘inaccessible crevices’ in our globe or outer space!

And we Indians keep saying ‘Give peace a chance!’ while fighting amongst ourselves all the while.

….….another f*****g joke, I say!

A terrifying alarm!

2009-02-10T23:31:00.008+05:30

I’m not reading or following any news of the terror attacks and the jokes ensuing from Pakistan sometimes about non-state actors and sometimes about Kasab being dead! I hardly discussed these issues recently…most Mumbaiites have given up on this issue altogether and it has become a non-issue now what with our dear Prime Minister’s heart becoming the centre of national attraction.

But a few terrorists woke me up early morning rather scared the daylights out of me. I don’t recollect the entire sequence but after much hiding and strategizing an escape, I finally gave up when one of them entered our room and pointed his gun at me. He looked so vulnerable and his hands were trembling. I don’t recollect who else was in my room but most of them had escaped save for me and a few others who got trapped. Maybe, I was in some heritage hotel or some university convocation hall since the setting was a grand one.

That moment was pure terror and all I wanted was to be anywhere but there! My heart prayed to his – just shoot right away but when I looked into his eyes, I felt pity. He was just following an order – an order to simply terrorize without rhyme or reason. His heart wouldn’t accept that, that poor thing! And unfortunately, I woke up…didn’t get to experience what decision he took.

Just the dream was so terrifying; I can now also imagine what must have transpired in those last moments for the captured hostages. I wonder what is terrorism and who is truly the ‘terrorist’ – the guy carrying the weapon or the guy defending himself – both of them seemed helpless!

Can you spot the lil' heroine?

2009-02-09T02:18:00.041+05:30

Meet my personal photographer, fashion consultant and the very beautiful - Dia! After a tiring photo shoot in the jungle, she takes a Sunday break amidst her favorites - flowers and butterflies.

Post Script: I have not been threatened to put my niece's pic here on my blog post my jungle shoot. This decision is entirely my own and all opinions stating otherwise are sincerely expected to be disregarded. It's just that I also care about my joie de vivre!!

Jaam…aur ek nasheeli shaam, Kishore da ke naam!

2009-02-07T23:57:00.031+05:30

OK! This post isn’t about alcohol or the ama-ZING effects later on. This is me sharing my new found secret to an alternative to alcohol as I’m health and wealth conscious now:) It’s also got something to do with an advice from an old friend, philosopher and guide -‘Friedrich Nietzsche’, who told me that ‘For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication.’!!!

So, this post is about me and my state of mind nowadays – trying to get kinda intoxicated with emotions – deep seated love, sorrow, happiness, gratitude, anger, joy, hatred and mischief- just about everything is surfacing! In the absence of alcohol, every image of it looks so divine! And, what does a once-upon-a-time-moderate-drinker-now-abstaining supposed to do to get ‘intoxicated’?

Now, alcohol is pure nirvana, isn’t it? So, can there really be an alternative – an equal one?

Most regulars wouldn’t care about an alternative anyways. An alternative to the instant cure for escaping reality; an alternative to the free ticket to freedom; an alternative to the same highs; an alternative to …OK, you get the point. Now, my point…

Post strenuous and hardcore brainstorming, I got innovative and a light bulb did shine above my head – ting! I created a bar like effect around me to fool the brain though. You know the slow, soft music, happy- very happy-very,very happy people floating around, cloud number 9 just beside you, angels at your beck and call types, etc.etc. Given that I grew up on an ‘Imaginary boyfriend’ on the moon, this was nothing but cakewalk or so I thought. Imagining is my full time occupation but imagining something specific is like trying to walk in a straight line in high spirits. But, for art to exist, I have to get intoxicated!

Something was missing …just couldn’t point a finger though. Anyways, what I did was what I always do and that is to listen to the one and only juggler of melody in emotions, the greatest that ever was – Kishore Kumar – the other ‘Ganguly’! This man along with Burman have created eternal magic and I’m sure when my grand-grand kids read this, they too will not disagree. Just about every emotion that had surfaced mixed and dissolved into pure intoxication! A little necessary ambience would be silence, a dimly lit room – main aur meri tanhayi types or just very close friends – no alcohol…plain old water works wonders…it’s the tunes that lift your spirits, trust me!

One can’t imagine the kind of highs reached on listening to Kishore. It has to be experienced. I did and realized that it is beneficial – both in body and in spirit! Do try it for the sake of art…It will do wonders to your life. Cheers!

U.P.S (Useful post script): If you are a married man and your wife nags you to quit or nags habitually, you must listen to this Kishore da’s sure shot remedy:

‘Yeh jeevan hain…is jeevan ka…

yahi hain..yahi hain..yahi hain ..rang roop

thode gham hain…thode kushiyan..

thode gham hain…thode kushiyan…

yahi hain..yahi hain…yahi hain..chaav dhoop’

Lost !

2009-02-07T02:42:00.024+05:30

…………………..this is what happened to me on a routine trip to my art materials supplier shop and one would wonder – it’s a routine trip, so how come Vin? Well, it so happened that the usual map I have in my mind after losing my way many times before, got deleted! Not accidentally though…remember the old culprits, those naughty germs in my brain. Yep, they were at it again. For those millions of my new readers, unaccustomed with my germs, please read an old post titled ‘Manzile apni jagah hain….raasthe apni jagah and GPS’, with which I also made my debut in Blogywood. Only the title is long but the post isn’t, I swear!

Let me make a few things clear first:

a. I am not directionally challenged. I challenge the directions.

b. Those germs are entirely a figment of my imagination. I only delete the brain map since I sincerely believe that if there’s a will, there’s a way. Agar chah hain, tho raah hain…..Hum honge kaamyab, ek din!

Things occurred somewhat like this….The shop is called ‘New Bombay Stationary Stores’ and it is as old as the Gateway of India gifted to King George a long long time ago. It is located in a lane called ‘Abdul Rehman Street’ in CST. There are millions of shops in the same street and another million roads in and around CST near Crawford market. Now, there aren’t any hoardings or billboards on this lane ‘Abdul Rehman Street’ so poor Abdul! Nor are there any trees, so poor me! What do I use as a base for my brain map then? Imagination …Life is my creation!

Unusual sounding shops would be the new billboards for me. When I returned from my second trip which was a long long one, needless to say that I got lost that day, I decided to take immediate steps for the map drawing. So, this is what was the route: the lane starts with the biggest BATA showroom – then Toy World – some shop selling arms and ammunition – a bylane called ‘Zanzibar Street’ – keep walking on the right till you see the red post box – that’s it, bang opposite the post box is a stupid shop selling labels and stickers (the shop isn’t stupid, the shopkeeper is and I’ll tell you why in a little while).

I have been somewhat successful in reaching my manzil with the help of this map in my subsequent trips, until yesterday which was my 7th or 8th trip maybe. It so happened that I had to hunt for new suppliers for a new idea I had. In the process of doing that, I got lost somewhere in that dingy lane, but this was nothing new. Getting lost was also a routine thing now.

I tried to get back to my route map, but just couldn’t find any of the strategic places I had made a note of. I was in the middle of millions of shops selling everything that man aspires to have, including maps. But I needed a personalized map – a map that understands me. Anyways, chah hain…raah bhi milegi….so, I inquired at a nearby shop if he knows the now popular AR street. He nodded sympathetically and pointed straight another 50 shops ahead. It was noon so no sympathy from the sun. Poor me walked straight ahead, keeping an eye for the red post box or any box which is red would do.

I finally got there and the stupid shopkeeper of that labels shop was grinning at me. He somehow knew of my days happenings. My face said it all! Our eyes met and we made the last conversation hopefully. He seemed to say ‘Kya madam..hamesha aathi ho yahi…hamesha punchthi ho…phir bhi’. I too gave an answering ‘look’- ‘main tho pehle baar aayi hun..woh meri judwa behen hain’ :)

By the way, I have decided not to go to that New Bombay stores anymore, I have found an easier route to a shop called ‘Himalaya Art stores’ bang opposite Sir J J School of Art!

Jahan chah…vahan raah. Jai Himalaya!

Can you spot Vin, the jungle queen?

2009-02-05T21:30:00.010+05:30

Created using Magic Photo Editor!!

My best friend Rover...

2009-02-02T01:29:00.022+05:30

and the post is over!!!

Post Script: Just me trying my hand at illustration! I'm scared of dogs and I have no best friend called Rover. Illustrated using MS Paint, while trying to learn Adobe Illustrator :)

What every woman must know…

2009-01-30T19:42:00.066+05:30

OK! I’m no expert nor am I doing any research on what women must know, have or do to be happy. This is just my collective experience as a human and especially as a woman to be happy in these stressful and fast times. And of course, it is not only for women readers, men too can take a cue to understand women better and hopefully keep their wives, mothers, sisters and above all girlfriends happy! Firstly, we are also Homo sapiens just like men and not any lesser in any way other than a few curves here and there and the obvious absence of excessive body hair. We cry when we are happy too - we are wired that way. We give birth to men and nourish them with our blood and that too joyfully. Just for that, we need respect and a sense of awareness of who we really are. Sadly, men don’t want to accept our strength and so deem that we are from ‘Venus’!

Here are a few things I can recollect and I’m sure you guys have more.

1) A Smile – Every woman needs to keep a smile in her heart always which will reflect on her face. The smile makes us feel good about ourselves and enhances our appeal. It is not easy to keep smiling in our hearts if our hearts are injured so the next tips are about how to have a ‘happy’ heart!

2) Forgiveness – Again, this is the first thing we need to know - our hearts should be filled with only love and not hatred. A ‘love-filled’ heart is a ‘happy’ heart! Forgive men for they know not what they do – should be our motto!

3) A girlfriend – A close friend from ‘Venus’ is the sure shot way to a healthy heart. She should be ready to meet you even in her pajamas and oil champi, if need be. Both of you can serve each other better than empty walls and beds.

4) A friend from ‘Mars’! – A close male friend with whom we are not romantically involved is a wonderful experience. We not only understand ourselves better but also our ‘male’ partners better too. No more ending up with fights related to conversations about our dream vacation while our partners would be dreaming about watching the FIFA cup live! That’s just how they are wired –So we refer to them as ‘Martians’!

5) Shopping – Whoever coined the term ‘Retail therapy’ must be The Goddess herself! Shopping helps us heal anytime and especially after a break-up. Anyways, most of us lose so much weight in grieving that we need a whole new wardrobe!

6) A cute teddy bear – This one I need not explain, one must experience a close friend in a teddy – he never abandons you, loves you just the way you are – un-waxed, un-threaded, a little moustache, a little stubble whatever – you are always his princess!

7) A bar of chocolate – Need any explanation here? Its not ‘diamonds’ but ‘chocolates’ that are a woman’s best friend. Every woman should carry a bar of chocolate on her at all times and especially during that time of the month.

8) Surprise gifts – Every woman should gift sweet surprises just like that - like a warm hug, a charm, a trinket, a junk ear ring, a musical box, a little singing birdie, a gift coupon, a fresh perfume, the latest lip gloss, whatever…it may not be expensive but it should be thoughtful. What goes around comes around, so ladies, be ready to receive all this in much more abundance!

9) A good book – Every woman needs to curl up with a good book. Knowledge is the only way towards empowerment and happiness. Do collect and keep a small shelf beside your dressing table and make sure that you share them with your women friends. Have at least one book of poems or quotes and one book by a woman author – they write really well!

10) A healthy bank balance – This is an area we are scared to tread but trust me we need to be financially independent no matter who we are – who’s daughter, who’s wife, who’s sister – everything is about our sense of achievement by what we earn. It really brings in a whole sense of being and gives us our freedom of self-expression like nothing else does.

11) An interesting wardrobe- Have a nice set of clothes, jewelry, cosmetics, shoes and bags all bought with the help of that close girlfriend. Accept her opinion if something you love looks horrible on you in her eyes.

12) A ‘No’ – The power to say a ‘no’ when you mean a ‘no’ is the first sign of empowerment. Do not do anything if you are not comfortable with it. Learn to say a ‘no’ even if it hurts somebody’s sentiments. We cannot please everybody. We are not super-beings.

13) Forget numbers – Yes, every woman should forget stupid numbers like her age, weight, hairfall rate, etc. These have nothing to do with a ‘happy’ heart rather if she worries with these numbers, she will only end up with high blood pressure! I gave up on my weight gain program:)

14) A little exercise regime – Every women needs to spend some time on her muscles, bones, blood circulation, etc. Even walking for half an hour adds oodles of happiness to your heart. So, ladies, go take a walk!

15) Eat whenever your hungry – This is the best thing towards a happy tummy and thus a happy heart. Trust me, our body needs food only when we are hungry or rather we feel hungry since our body needs food. Everything else like diet etc. is all humbug – bakwas…so go on attack and eat whatever!

I.P.S. (Interesting post script) : I could go on and on but these are and will be the most important ones I have experienced. Sorry about the long post but I almost feel like it’s ‘Woman’s Day’ today!! Don’t forget to share your ‘happy’ heart tips too!
Have a ‘Happy’ heart guys!

My weight-gain program!

2009-01-21T16:22:00.002+05:30

OK, I am 6 kgs lesser than the ideal weight required as per body mass index and I too won’t tell you what my current weight or height is. Numbers are just that…senseless finite measures in an otherwise incomprehensible infinite universe! Though you may take a guess…even a moronic actor like Tusshar Kapoor can carry me but if he dares to do so, I swear I would claw him to pulp with my 1-inch nails! I am slim and daring but only not the healthy weight.

Now, coming to the weight-gain program designed by me, my action points are simple and derived from logic: Do the opposite of everything that is prohibited in all weight loss programs. So I checked Dr. Nigam’s, VLCC, Pretty slim clinic and a few others with quite impressive punchlines ‘Lose 8 kgs in 45 days or your money back’!! All they talk about is proper controlled diet and hell loads of exercises. So, it’s got to be the ‘eat and eat till you drop to sleep’ mantra for me then! What happened later is another story…

I have been gulping just about everything ever since I became aware of being underweight to the point that I got digestion related disorders, lactose-intolerance related disorders and not to mention my extreme affinity towards ‘rich’ foods – I began having a bar of chocolate every other day! Sadly, nothing had worked to the point required and I had been able to gain only one kilogram. One kg may be significant when you are in a weight loss program but trust me its nothing in a weight-gain one! Even stretch jeans look comfort fit on me.

But, me the woman of substance err the woman of slightly-less-substance was firm in her conviction. She believed that ‘Where there is ghee, there is also loads of fat gleefully settling around her for nonstop gossip” Many beauty conscious women avoid ghee so I thought this is perfect for me. I started dreaming about all the fat I’m about to gain, what women would say when I pass by : ‘Hey, look at her…she’s got it all man…all that plump and curves...I wonder how she got it?’ and all the south Indian movie directors making an offer to me – I would be their next plump heroine starring opposite Rajnikanth! Imagine me dancing and jingling all that adipose and becoming an instant heart throb of the south Indian men in the country that’s nearly 50 % of the Indian male population! WOW! Also, all the channels would be vying for my interview, my ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures would be shown by worried mothers to their teenage daughters who have been corrupted by Kareena and her senseless size zero; the plump me would be the new youth icon (female)!

Ghee it was that finally worked, but only a few grams. Stretch jeans still look comfort fit. I do sleep more with all that ghee but my constantly active brain like a cloud of mosquitoes buzzing over you on a night safari breaks down all that adipose into God knows what…I still can’t find much fat! I still look like ‘Laurel’ when I am with real ‘Hardy’s’.

Then it dawned on me. What my mom really wanted to say all these months and what she ended up actually telling me!! She always referred to my married friends, relatives, and neighbors and never failed to make a special mention of their post-marriage physique which was the ideal one. This means the only way for me to gain was to get married. Now, how can I even think of ‘doing it as a weight-gain exercise’ without getting married? Sounds exciting but hell, no..can’t indulge in it, I am better off looking like Olive Oyl…surely there’s a Popeye waiting for me somewhere…sometime! Ok Dreamland again!! Maybe, Pierce Brosnan, that hot Bond – his wife is really huge now:) The World is Not Enough!! Tomorrow Never Dies!!!

Dreamland zindabad...

Remembering Winnie the Pooh!

2009-01-18T14:09:00.004+05:30

Today is Winnie the Pooh day!

................so a little history and some quotes (my favorites usually!) in celebration of this day. This most endearing bear was created by A.A Milne born on January 18, 1882 and named after a toy bear owned by his son, Christopher Robin Milne. Pooh's friends which include other popular characters such as Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Kanga and Roo were also based on Christopher's stuffed animals. Winnie the Pooh stories were set at Ashdown Forest in East Sussex known as the hundred acre woods. Original versions of Winnie the Pooh stories were brought into beautiful illustrations by E.H. Shepard.

Besides being a very lovable bear adored by children, Winnie the Pooh's clear-eyed wisdom also won the hearts of adults. I'm honored to share some of Pooh's quotes hoping it will touch you there and remain !

“Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness; however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.”

“Wherever they go, and whatever happens to them on the way, in that enchanted place on the top of the forest, a little boy and his Bear will always be playing.”

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.”

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."

"Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known."

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it."

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" :)

Even decades after his first appearance, the Pooh Bear continues to steal the hearts of young and old alike. I heard they are bringing him again to Ashdown forest with a sequel but the magic may be missing! Enjoy Pooh day!

Pinocchio – A Book Review

2009-01-14T22:38:00.003+05:30

OK! I finally finally did it and I must say it’s a milestone achievement. All I ever knew was that he was a wooden puppet named ‘Pinocchio’ and that his nose grew longer every time he lied. But who was he? Why was he made of wood? Was ‘Pinocchio’ his real name? Where did he live? Who were his friends? Why did he lie? – These and many more mysteries intrigued me until now. Thanks to a free reading session at the neighboring ‘Crossword’ bookshop, I can now say I’m Pinocchio enlightened!

Conceived by the renowned ‘Carlo Lorenzini’, the Italian children’s writer in ‘The Adventures of Pinocchio’ that first appeared in an Italian children’s newspaper, it slowly caught on the imagination of the world and ‘Pinocchio’ lives on to see many an interesting adventure for himself and children alike.

The story makes for some interesting mix of characters, an engaging plot and an inspiring moral towards fulfillment of a dream. It revolves around ‘Pinocchio’, a wooden puppet carved by Geppetto, a carpenter who makes wooden toys in a simple Italian village somewhere in the 1800’s when life was full of meaning and hope. Now, our hero ‘Pinocchio’ aspires to be a real boy!

A series of adventures carved towards teaching values forms the central theme. A lucid, heart warming tale with a string of characters touch ‘Pinocchio’ and his readers in every adventure. And yes, eventually, Pinocchio does become a real boy and lives on with Geppetto ‘happily ever after’ !

I am fortunate to have read the book and wish to share my learning’s thereby. So, here are some beautiful points to ponder upon:

1. A dream however impossible can be achieved but you need to be patient.

2. Life is a wise Teacher who knows that you don’t know and teaches you whatever you need to know.

3. You will be punished if you try to fulfill your dreams the shorter way.

4. You will be forgiven at once when you are feeling sorry from your heart.

5. Fairies are the guiding forces in nature. Believe in them for your own good!

What started off as a newspaper story now lives on in my heart!

A Second Chance!

2009-01-11T02:25:00.004+05:30

brushes dried up in solitude

dusty boards are idling by

fragile thoughts sway so often

i let sow; now i wonder why

the gates of gold shined through

in all their majestic glory

a thousand beams of hope lit up

but my dreams, alas i gave up

i gave in to the devil within

as temptation clawed me so

i knew the road was not for me

but the simplest as one could see

show me a way as soon as can be

to buy back my soul, my spirit, my being

o lord, do not take me as i am

but take me as you want me to be

in You, my dream was born,

around You, i made it dance

o please forgive, do not abandon me

as all i need is a second chance!

My first commissioned artwork!

2009-01-08T14:08:00.003+05:30

OK! I am no cartoonist but a good friend managed to make me one! It so happened that yesterday he sent his photograph with a strange request to make his portrait knowing very well that I’m not a portrait artist. Therefore, don’t accuse me of making faces – it’s not my my bread and butter! I worked hard towards achieving a museum-worthy portrait piece but his face triggered innate cartoonist skills instead. So, this is what happened…

Fig a: Photograph

Fig b: Photograph (modified)

(added stubble to reflect growth while sleeping and also that he felt the previous one lacked resemblance. As for me, both of them lack any resemblance!)

Fig c: Cartoon

Claimer: Any resemblance to the photograph is purely unintentional. In case of discrepancies, please attribute it to ‘artistic liberty’. Please give your valuable feedback and remember ‘It’s easy to make cartoons but difficult to make a cartoon character’- a quote by some famous cartoonist. But I have managed to create not only a ‘cartoon character’ but also a cartoon in my first portrait piece. Enjoy!

Lessons learnt in the year gone by…

2009-01-01T15:32:00.002+05:30

1) Never be obsessed with your name; it’s just a dead asset which never appreciates or depreciates in value no matter how beautiful your name is! The final judgment is not based on your name; rather it’s what you have achieved to live up to it.

2) A friend forever in need is a foe indeed! In fact, a foe can be dealt with but these – they can be classified rather as ‘parasitic organisms’ that believe in living off the sweet nectar prepared by some busy bees like you while they go fluttering awhile. You the busy bee wouldn’t even know what’s been eating you from within!

3) Never trust a woman’s tears; chances are that you would take an altogether dangerous path in the process of wiping them away – a path which no man has dared to ever take in an otherwise tranquil state of mind, and then realize that the path is a one way and her tears: the perpetual waterworks gifted to her as an organ of offence and defense.

4) Sympathy is the most inhuman emotion; not even for your enemy should you show any sympathy. Every one of us wants a fair fight, a fair strife, a fair share - no matter which side we are on…even the physically challenged! Never confuse sympathy towards a friend as ‘love’: it is everything but love which springs from respect and acknowledgement of man’s true potential.

5) Look at the donkey seriously. It carries burden without any appreciation or expectation of concern ever, moreover it never complains, though tired and moves on in the present state as if there is no tomorrow. Next time, be grateful if someone calls you an ‘ass’ and direct them to this post!

6) Forgiveness is difficult but the only path to freedom, agreed! So, always start forgiveness as a ‘down payment’ followed by monthly installments. This attitude to ‘forgive’ always works than trying to forgive all at once, which more often leaves open scars. Who knows, in the process…one day forgiveness might come as a natural response to hurt!

7) Learn respect for duty as a higher form of love from the trees. Trees will live only silently; do their duty without a sigh - never heard of a tree that stopped giving sweet fruits since some insane human cut its branches or cut it off altogether. The tree is wise enough to gift its wood for our shelter as if its fruits are not sufficient reciprocal to mankind’s barter.

8) Kidnapping a child is not always bad. A child when it is a prostitute’s one especially should be kidnapped and gifted to ‘childless’ couples. There is no other ‘shameful’ childhood than being a whore’s kid even malnutrition and nakedness can be outgrown but the shame associated with such roots always leads to ‘dis-associated’ adults.

9) I will fail at first, maybe second, maybe many more times; but same was the case with Einstein, Newton and other ‘normal’ geniuses. Every idea or thought has its purpose already defined before originating. A time will come when that idea or thought has fulfilled its purpose; in whose action has it fulfilled its purpose is nobody’s matter. So carry on, be humble. I am just a vehicle.

10) Never take a loan. Being in debt is akin to donating your spine to the devil, neither the devil wants to return it nor will it be returned in all its glory. The only loan we have to accept and continue to repay is that of our Mother’s womb, no amount however large is sufficient enough to tilt the balance in our favor!

11) All energy or matter that forms our beautiful world listens. If I have got pain, it is because I asked for it. Now on, I will ask only for happiness and cease my analysis and judgments for once. God is our loving father indeed!

12) Rub my slate clean. Start afresh. Even a scribble here and there and I will never set out to do whatever I originally intended. So, wishing you all a Fresh New Year!

Rewards & Recognition!!

2008-12-28T17:13:00.009+05:30

Ok! It’s that time of the year to acknowledge, appreciate and encourage and boy, am I delighted to do the honors!! First, for a little bit of trivia – related of course, a) These awards have been personally conceived and designed by me, b) I have achieved intermediate editing skills on Adobe Photoshop in the process and c) I have lifted images off the internet whenever some copyrights were mentioned but have camouflaged them successfully …hopefully!

As for me, Vinnie the Pooh having completed six months of probation on blogosphere, I must offer my heartiest gratitude to all my fellow bloggers and readers (forced at gun-point) and accept my permanent anchor-ship in blogosphere. I hope that you love your awards and do me a favor by putting it up on your blog space, though not doing so is entirely at your own risk – risk to life n limb or risk to lose my coveted readership. Ok. Now lets move on to the point:

1) ‘Young Writer’: This award goes to Senorita, my friend, philosopher and guide, who has now also turned into a ‘Young Writer’ with her work ‘R ki Shaadi’ being published in an E-zine. This award is in joint association of me and The Writer’s Guild, since along with the burden of being my offline buddy, she now dons another hat of ‘online writer cum bottoms-up buddy.

2) ‘Lazy & Crazy Blogger’: This award, no doubt goes to ‘Wobble bubble’ who in his own words says that he tries to look at this world with half sleepy eyes and equally sleepy mind…Now what can one say, with no water and clothes in that barren desert, Life must be pretty tough! How he manages to enter blogosphere is indeed a mystery!

3) ‘Picturesque Blogger’ : This award goes to the one and only blogger Ruffled Soul aka Sawan for his outstanding pictures which most often speak louder than the words on his space! Not that his words are of any less worth, but we readers just love to see images, don’t we? Even as I compose this post, I see that he has metamorphosed into a whole new skin – so colorful and beautiful – welcoming the new year!

4) ‘Young, Witty, Crazy Sweet Blogger’ : This award goes to our ‘Youngistan’ – emerging hero. He is not only creative to the core but also a simple philosopher who can reach lower frequencies to teach higher frequencies with his wit and sweet charm. I’m sure he will make our country proud one day, so it makes sense to serenade him and bask in his reflected glory!

5) ‘Pure, Eternal Poetess’ : This award goes to the highly acclaimed poetess that I know of – Scrawler. Though she hasn’t published any of them, her poetry is pure and takes one to eternity. But I confess that most of the times it touches my brain box at a tangent and I wonder at my courage and audacity to read and appreciate such sublime words.

6) ‘Blogger of Substance’ : This award goes to Father Jerry who writes ‘Substance’ and makes me all red when I look at my posts! Though we started blogging at the same time, he is way ahead in the race at 64. I do not hope to compete with him for reasons known entirely to me.

7) ‘My Blogger Buddy’: This is in recognition of tolerating my awful posts and commenting to compensate for ‘sensible’ words in my space. Right! This goes to all of you again…Yippie! Yey! Congratulations, my sweet blogger buddies, you have received this one from my heart, Promise!

P.S: For readers who want to be in my privileged circle of ‘blogger buddies’, please convey your gratitude in my comments page and put this gift on your blog space. No need of any exclusive permission from me. Just grab one!

Eternal Quest

2008-12-27T01:14:00.005+05:30

A mere speck of dust,
I imagine myself to be
A negligible fraction,
naive mathematicians foresee

Eternity, my inner form;
Cosmic, my divine state
I float forever in His grace;
in unceasing, constant debate

In exploit, in rhythm, I rise;
in silence, in void, I remain
One tiny grain of matter,
but mighty self in vain

I drift across thy chartered course,
In a chaotic hope to repay
The infinite debt of thy womb,
my reflection so to say

As in dark ocean depths,
hide secret desires so often
Every trifle of dust or spot of grain,
Longs an oyster to relieve from thy pain

To free, to reignite the ancestral shine
To create, to sow pearls of wisdom divine
Me, my essence and the eternal quest
Remains unanswered till the final test!

on the Wings of Prayer

2008-12-25T18:21:00.007+05:30

Just close your eyes and Open your heart,

and feel your worries and cares depart

Just yield yourself to the Father above,

and let Him hold you secure in his love

For life on earth grows more involved

with endless problems that can’t be solved,

but God only asks us to do our best,

then He will ‘take over’ and finish the rest.

So when you are tired, discouraged and blue,

there’s always one door that is open to you,

and that is the door to ‘The House of Prayer’,

and you’ll find God waiting to meet you there.

And ‘The House of Prayer’ is no farther away,

than the quiet spot where you kneel and pray.

For the heart is the temple when God is there

as we place ourselves in His loving care.

And He hears every prayer and answers each one,

when we pray in His name ‘Thy will be done’.

And the burdens that seemed too heavy to bear

are lifted away on ‘The Wings of Prayer’.

I have carried this little poem with me right from school – so many changes, so many purses but this little piece of paper still remains with me! I don’t know its significance nor am I an expert in the power of faith healing, but reading this poem in times of solitude, grief or pure devotion, has only lifted me higher. Maybe, it does have some power after all. Today, on this beautiful occasion of Christmas, I share this simple yet powerful poem. Celebrating the birth of the holy Christ, may this poem help one and all.

Tagged ! Six crazy things while watching movie:)

2008-12-23T22:51:00.004+05:30

OK! Thanks to Karthik, I have been tagged with this contagious bug. The bug wants me to confess about 6 crazy things I do while watching or going for a movie. I hardly watch movies other than animation but still…and without my knowledge these bugs are tagging Senorita, Sawan and Scattered Thoughts! Guys, This is a crazy bug – it makes you confess here in your personal blog and beware of the virtual gods…if you lie, you will be severely punished, so say the gods!! . Senorita, you will be locked up in a dungeon and Himesh Reshamiya will be your partner singing in infinite loop ! As for me, I do want to go for a date with George Clooney, so here goes…and yes, for the guys its Catherine Zeta Jones!

1) Take my own refreshments – See, I’m a good girl, I listen to my mom. She says not to eat ‘’outside’ food, so I don’t buy anything during the intervals. I carry my own refreshment - a few chocolate bars! See, these are slim, long and can be easily hidden at the bottom of my purse. The ‘chota’ packs can be kept inside the zip pouch or inside jeans pockets! Yey! I clearly remember an incident that would have ‘happened’ before the movie ‘Hari Puttar’, if not for my innocent nieces. Me and my two little nieces, with 3 packs of big 5-star Munch and 3 packs of small Bar One and Perk filled in my jeans pocket, one in little Dia’s frock pocket, one camouflaged under a handkerchief in my purse, one inside the zip pouch! I stood in front of the lady security, unzipped my purse, lifted my hands in the air and challenged her. She smirked, signaled me to take my purse and let us go! My knees finally stopped shaking and I was able to pass through the metal detector. I suspect it was the nieces who are well versed in giving the innocent look or that the lady was kind enough to not deprive us of some chocolate! Next time, I swear I will not let my pockets bulge!

2) Popcorn pellets – See, I’m not a movie person. I hardly remember the story or the sequence in the story except for a few funny jabs and chaps. I’m very restless during any movie except animation! I keep changing my position. I hate popcorn but eat it if I have to. So, once me and my crazy friend Jas, started throwing popcorn at people in the front! Now they were all guys, when they looked behind angrily, we gave them our big ‘Cibaca’ smile. Cibaca smile is the one which shows all 32. These guys were amused and forgot all about the movie. I think that was the debut movie of Arshad Warsi – Naseeb Apne Apne..but again I’m not sure! Later, when the movie got over, we didn’t leave the hall until they had left. They did wait quite some time for us to come but soon realized that our ‘popcorn-throwing’ was the effect of the movie alone and had nothing to do with them! That was the last time I ever bought popcorn!

3) Forced Curiosity/Imagination – Yeah, I never go through the trailer or read any review before going to the cinema. If by chance, I happen to hear particularly bad reviews, I program my mind to convert the bad into good. It works for me! I also realized that it works the best when it is Hrithik Roshan. No movie can be rated with one or half star which has my heartthrob, can it? This habit may not be categorized as crazy after all. It’s the most sensible thing to do when the hero overshadows the storyline, the cinematography, the score or the dialogues. I always imagine myself opposite Hrithik. The whole movie watching becomes therapeutic and I’m healed at least temporarily from love sickness or ‘Imaginary Boyfriend Syndrome (IBS)’. I confess, I imagined myself dancing with Hrithik drenching in the rain in the movie ‘Koi mil gaya’ in my little pink skirt! Idhar chala..main udhar chala..jaane kahan main…kidhar chala….areeyy pisal gaya…..

4) After the movie ? This may not be so abnormal after all. I usually make my plans for the evening or for life during movies. It’s something about the ambience, I say! After being fed on so many of reels of ‘never-gonna-happen’ events, I get inspired to work on real events for which the probability is always greater than 0. It also helps the mind in the logical reasoning box. If so and so can happen in the movie, chances of it happening in real life is always 0 and vice versa! In fact, a friend and me had quite a heated discussion regarding survival strategies and the avoidable or unavoidable situations for using the F word….during the movie ‘The Sixth Sense’! Manoj must have made this awesome movie in an unusual style, but the pace it went at, I could almost see my nails growing!

5) Lip sync dialogues – I love doing this especially for the villains and it usually is so predictable that it comes out beautifully! ‘Kutthe kameene …main tera khoon pee jaunga…’ or ‘Kal moohi, kahan muh kala kar ke a gayi…’. Now, sometimes we also put in our own funny dialogues into a serious situation, much to the amusement of the folks sitting nearby! Sadly, I cant remember any right now. Also, I have this crazy habit of letting my ears catch neighboring dialogues. In case of a funny one meant in double entendre, I force my brains to not process it and respond with my mouth for fear of getting caught! But I did get caught big time during the movie ‘Dilwane Dulhaniya Le Jayenge’. It was during the song ‘Main tere saamne…’, relating to some bathroom joke for Kajol!

6) Short course in Fashion/ Interior Design – A cinema is the best platform for a short course in fashion design or interior design. Don’t you think? Irrespective of whether the hero’s character in the movie is of a poor guy, the hero will most definitely break into a song-and-dance sequence in designer clothes in the most coolest interiors or exteriors possible. The roadside tapori in torn, faded jeans will be shown in designer trousers in a designer office et al. I remember a scene in Vaastav, in which Sanjay Dutt, an encounter specialist and his prostitute girlfriend – Namrata Shirodkar are transformed into two decent lovebirds…all complete with his suit and her saree singing away to glory in ‘phoren’! I usually note down the latest pattern in salwar kameezes and accessories to match for shoes!

Hope, I win my date….

Friend Ship and the sea of life!

2008-12-20T22:28:00.004+05:30

I woke up early at 6 in the morning to the December chills in Mumbai, with a frozen head and a wish for a wee nap. December chills just give a taste of the coming New Year chills and Nature’s way to encourage hapless souls like me who tend to freeze. Some major thawing with a hot cup of coffee is the best de-freeze! Talking about coffee and the caffeine in it, maybe some other day….for now my day continues…The juices in my head began to dance and I could add 2+2. And what do I see – a mini beauty parlor session! My nieces had their annual day in school and these kids each had an item to perform. Hia looked her part as the Bharathanatyam dancer with her ‘extra long hair and kohl lined eyes’. Dia was part of a kick-ass group all ready in her shiny hot pants to perform ‘Move your baadi, baby’ (body in written English)! To think that their head-mistress is a lady reputed to be quite stern and ancient! Anyways…my head was still entangled somewhere…just couldn’t point a finger, where?

I avoided the news, the bad news rather what with all news channels focusing only on terrorism, scandals, corruption and other ‘live’ footage crap happening around the length and breadth of our country. How about some Good News, guys?
So , I watched some Old School re-runs on Zee Café, and felt a tinge of sadness ‘why don’t they make such sweet serials anymore?’, especially ‘The Wonder years’, the li’l heroine is also ‘Vinnie’!

Later, I scanned the entire gamut of channels, none of it made up for the ‘missing’ link though. Switched off and began gazing at the lone almond tree outside my window. Just this monsoon, it was a beauty with fresh leaves and twigs spreading new hope and dreams, but now the little dry leaves that hung on the branches were in the get-set position. A slight swoosh and there they would ‘go’! A little nest was vacated too…

After a necessary bath though winters sitting at home don’t mandate it as ‘necessary’ but for the sake of the family, I sacrificed!, I did some CTRL f in my mind folders, still couldn’t trace it. At around 11:30, I got a call from A asking whether I’m at home and Can she visit me? I was thrilled, you know A and me were somewhat inseparable until she ‘fell’ and got married to S. In 5 minutes, she was home!

Now, God knows if there is a way to welcome old friends or not, but we couldn’t care for that… we started chatting right away. I was in Chennai and she got married, job roles had changed, house roles had changed, common friends had changed.. In fact we were so engrossed in exchanging the past 2 and half years…My mom had to take care about the juice and stuff! After some time, I was light and happy and she too looked renewed! She wouldn’t have left if not for her mom who called up for the umpteenth time! ‘A’ was visiting her parents who stay close by. So lunch was at 3 pm and the juice was forgotten!

Later P, an ex-colleague calls up to give some news and I inform of A’s visit. That set us up…We chatted again and shared another set of common cherished memories! The oldies still remembered me as the ‘Masala chai wali’! He too wouldn’t disconnect had it not been for his weekend job of teaching college kids! By now, I was more than delighted and waiting for more!

Then I come online to know a status of a course I have yet to complete. The email ID registered with that university was a very old one, so I logged into that account. Yes, I did remember my password after some rattling though! And, who sends a ‘Hi’? N, of course!
I cant believe my eyes..N and me have climbed trees, chased dogs, invented new strategy games, saved little kids from the bullies, went through the same school and college and majored in the same subject! He was starting his day in London and I was waiting for more!! Somehow, I knew it was my day today. God has been kind to me. N and me had a long catching up to do…he was dead busy but came up with new views for my life! He too wouldn’t log off, had it not been for a deadline. But, I was in Nirvanic bliss!

These old friends had made my day! They healed me, they entangled the mess, they found the missing link for me! I was reminded something about friends being gifts, we give ourselves! I was also reminded of the 4-part series of Karthik with F for friendship! Friendship is surely the best investment for a healthy life. For investment tips, please read the series at ‘Youngistan’ in my blog list. Thank you, friends!

Har Blog kuch kehtha hain...

2008-12-19T20:26:00.003+05:30

Ok! After this huge fiasco had ended and we both had decided to move on, I looked at my blog and tried to see through his eyes. Why did he want to see my stupid blog, even after I had threatened him with dire consequences if he does so? What's the big deal if he follows it and why am I so possessive anyways! To solve this mystery, I transformed into a third identity, this time an un-named one though. Now, this third identity or character enters my blog for the first time...she digs up my precious archives and notes down any and every little thing of no significance whatsoever! By the time she starts from July and ends up till date, she is completely exhausted and her notebook is filled up till the very end, but her face is glowing with a kind of discovery that only Columbus must have felt on seeing land after so many months at sea!

I was quite taken aback with her expression and also sad that I couldnt see the same. She handed me her notebook and vanished into me! I was back as Vin, with her notebook in my trembling fingers and an anxious itch in my mind. What has she unearthed? What will I get to know? Will I ever be able to put down my thoughts, crazy or worse? But, there was nothing about my posts or my blog or about my beautiful template or my wonderful writing skills! She had noted down only about all her feelings and the little emotions triggered in her in the journey through my virtual life.

She felt warm tears welling up when she saw frustation, she felt joy when she saw happy moments, she felt a sense of despair and strength during the terror moments, she felt content at sheer creativity, she felt healed by the inspiring quotes. She had even learnt so much from my co-blogger's, they gifted her the spices of their life, they encouraged her by sharing their experiences, they in turn added a different flavor to my posts which were otherwise quite boring! She thanked me at the end for sharing my moments here. I felt hollow, stupid and almost in tears...but enlightened!

To think that I wanted to close my blog once upon a time and worst still deprive a 'thirsty' soul, I feel healed now that the blog is up and running in all its glory! I made a final agreement with him and have invited him! He has promised not to communicate with me in any form!! Thank a million, Sen and folks...you guys stopped me from committing the gravest sin ever, forever in your debt! I can sleep in peace now! If my stupid blog can bring someone a little happiness, then why not?

A Fool's Paradise!

2008-12-16T21:12:00.001+05:30

I chanced upon this path
Misfortune, some folks say!
I trusted his honest eyes
Betrayal at its best

Enticed by his promise,
the undying, undiminishing
togetherness to eternity
I muted 'The Voice Within'

Destiny, she drifts across
a new course, undecided
I bow in reverence to thee
my despair hasn't subsided

The Lord acts strange
The Lord acts wise
I am his li'l puppet
Happy in a fool's paradise!

Cyber Stalker

2008-12-16T16:20:00.004+05:30

Ever heard about stalkers? Yeah, those 'dreaded species', most celebrities are scared to even think about! But, I'm no celebrity, am I? I always make it a point to stay away from flashlights, men-gossip and strutting my feathers, strongly believing that If I did that, I could successfully build an 'un-interesting/ utterly boring' image in such minds. No one would dare be interested in my nothing-happening-at-all LIFE. I thought my strategy was right; I thought I would be safe from 'prying' eyes'! Alas...not to be!

My case is a simple open-and-shut one, here I know 'my stalker's identity'! That’s why the blog went 'Entry on invitation' for some time, but this way even my readers were affected by this so-called stalker, what with sparing a few minutes for reading my crap posts, now the pain doubled - they had to login too!!! Since, it was private for many days, I thought he would get the point of 'Access Denied' to mean ‘Leave me alone’ or ‘Let me breathe’ or ‘Let me go!’, so I made it public and there you go, my stalker returns in clockwork precision and sticks on like a leech….and that’s an altogether new story. This 'stalker' keeps refreshing my blog URL like a 100 times each day to 'analyze' my thoughts, to read my 'underlying' feelings for god-knows-who! He reads my posts and all your comments and my replies to your comments. Then he does the same with all your posts. He is abreast of the latest happenings in this 'new' gang more than the gang itself! Utter nuisance for me but utter Timepass for him, I say!

A little background check on this stalker-jerk. It is obvious that he has no work to do in this life. He lives only for himself, but keeps blabbering about 'sacrificing, giving and living for others' all the time. Yeah, Right! At the moment, he is alive only to torture the hell out of me, what with my already happening life and the divine selflessness I'm surrounded with! I am done with the usual boorish contempt show, the bickering, etc. to clear any miscomprehensions he may have about me. I became the ‘ice maiden’ – not at all affected by the ‘pain’ and ‘torture’ that I AM inflicting him! (mind it, I say)

He is a big loser in all aspects of his life, isn’t that the case always! He cannot face the real world, he cannot face the ‘rejection’ brought upon him by his ‘own folks’, he cannot decide whether to stand up for a friend or let her get insulted or better still molested!! He makes a song and dance professing his undying, un-diminishing love, I-will-live-for-you-forever types. He emails, phone texts me. He tries to convince me any which way he can. See, I’m not as stupid as I look! I don’t understand why anyone would still linger around my space when I've shot point-blank a 'LEAVE ME ALONE". Can anyone tell me what language do 'stalkers' understand?

I have two options with me: a) Close my blog and b) Enforce restricted access.

Firstly, I was in pain and so decided to close my blog- no life.. no blog, luckily smart sense prevailed, my blog stills sees the light of the day and also of the tubelights! See, I have no other social life except for this virtual space! That explains the new theme and lively color… Vin was getting geared up for her new life!

I did enable restricted access, which kept him at bay, unmistakably also clarify my stand of ‘Let me go… let me breathe... But, fortunately, for him, it also kept at bay, many others who didn’t have gmail ids! I made it public, believing that decency demands, self-respect and ‘i-will-sacrifice-for-her-as-usual’ will keep him at bay.

But, my widget for 'Live Traffic feed' clearly proves the fact that he has stripped off all his decency, he has broken once again another rule of friendship (I doubt there was any!!), he has again stuck like a leech! All his denials are vain attempts to hoodwink me. He is stalking me again…I’m choking! Thank God, I’m miles away, but here it’s just an ‘enter’ key so how do I prosecute trespassers?

An Ode to Classical Ragas

2008-12-13T19:52:00.005+05:30

My eyes are full of tears like raindrops,
yet my mind is still thirsty (for love).

This insane heart will not know
what game is being played.
This song which is full of sadness,
appears on my lips and
takes me to a far away place.
Although I have forgotten everything,
but I still remember few things.
My mind is still thirsty (for love).

The story is old.
I am trying to remember you.
I still cannot forget the swing of “sawan” (The monsoon season).
The seasons come and go
while leaving behind false comfort.
My mind is still thirsty (for love).

Many years have passed since we left each other.

In the sky, I can see the lightning as the streak of time

and I saw you in that lightning.

Hope and despair play the game of hide and seek with my mind.

My mind is still thirsty (for love).

Sounds familiar? :) thats 'Mere naina sawan bhado, phir bhi mera man pyaasa...' sung by Kishore Kumar in 'Mehbooba' in Raga Shivranjani which is known to evoke the moods of romance and sorrow!! My one and only favorite sad love song.

Today as I was humming it, my curiosity took the better of me, I realised a strange happiness in humming it...so began the research, was led to this link http://dr-narasinha-kamath.sulekha.com/blog/post/2008/06/mere-naina-saawan-bhado-sung-by-dr-kamath-dedicated.htm, and i'm glad I found this beautiful article...am storing it in my space for eternity....

A Brief!

2008-12-11T19:32:00.006+05:30

'Imagine this world with the same concept of living but with a slight difference and this difference would be that of 'communication'. What if, mankind spanning the entire globe expressed themselves using a single protocol. How would life be if we humans spoke, wrote, heard a single universal language? Would it be called a language in the first place? No, It would probably be the communication protocol for humans!

In real terms, this is not possible, but virtually it is. Electronic mail is the communication order of our times. What if, you wrote your mail in Hindi, but your bong friend received it in Bengali without you having to learn Bengali? Then, probably you wouldn't learn French just to impress that beautiful French blonde you met online or maybe send an 'I love you' in all possible languages to your beloved!

The possibilities are endless and so are your choices. And providing you with these choices is our challenge. We, at GlobalLanguageMail.com introduce ourselves as the worlds only portal for providing free email service in a language that you prefer."

Most successful start-ups were born out of an idea. Young college kids, fire in their belly's, bored of studies, put on their thinking caps one fine day and came up with this - a free email service provider which supports multi language conversion and unheard of in those times! And, what an idea! The kids tried for quite a long list of possible domain names, but sadly, all were taken except for this : 'GlobalLanguageMail'. So, that was it. The kids registered and again put on their thinking caps to plan, innovate, co-ordinate, delegate and most of all market!

Some things happened, some didn't, God knows best! The kids didnt find a VC. For the sake of non-dotcom folks, I would explain (in brief!) who or what is a VC? See, most brains rot when it succumbs to loads of money in the pockets, such brains cannot function any further. Hence, such brains 'steal' from brains which sit on top of 'empty pockets'. We call them VC's or Venture Capitalists - these guys capitalise on poor guy's venture and capitalise they do, big time! The kids were poor, they were still on pocket money (read neglible chillar); technology and time waits for no man or kid, so the 'idea' died off...The DOTCOM idea busted!

Today, as I was sorting some old papers, I came across this write-up that I had conceived years ago. Yes! I was the official Content Developer cum Designer, me being the English literate and the one member from Venus, the other three from Mars! Forgive me, guys:) Plain logic that girls are better at creating or designing content than 'developing code', 'strategising', 'building core competence' and other inane, perfectly avoidable tasks.

I put this here for the gang: me, P, S & B, so that when we reflect upon the past, we are reminded of the many things that 'could have been'; the many paths that 'could be taken' and the many friends that 'should be made' ! Thanks gang for crossing my path...

Thank you, God!

2008-12-10T21:03:00.003+05:30

Hello God,

If you happen to stumble upon this post, an event for which I believe the probability is 0.00000000009999 since its titled and labelled with you, so that means you 'will stumble upon' my post, I want to let you know quite a few things. Not that I fear you or expect any favors for entry to heaven, but nevertheless, you need to know what Vin really thought about you and thinks about you, albeit you seldom do much in keeping with her wishes. Still...

Let me refresh your memory, in case you rely on such human tools. I belong to a wonderful set of 'family', for starters we are a group of 'self-styled combat warriors', the only pinch is of the uniquely distinct styles each one of us possess. So, lets not talk about how the family chariot moves on with all the wheels pointing in the ten directions, so anchored as a rock, just as you! So, now you know who I am. Lets proceed further..

When I was little, my mom said 'God is watching all our actions and will punish us for our lies'. I thought 'Let me not take a chance... I never lied'. Meantime, all my elder siblings lied and went scott-free from mom's cane, whereas me would be decorated with long red bumps. I wondered then, 'Why is God not punishing them?'. Gradually, the questions increased, every time i joined my hands in prayer at the small temple at home, I saw an image of you smiling away to glory. I didnt know it then, the reason for your smile, but maybe now I do! Nevertheless, I trusted you and prayed to you and begged you for a new set of crayons, a new drawing book, a new story book, a new dress, a new shoe... more quality time with my 'ever so busy' dad! But, you only smiled! Some answer to a little toddler's prayer!

The toddler grew up, the prayers continued but you only smiled! I prayed, i stuggled, i worked hard to make both ends meet, while you were smiling your glorious smile! They say 'God alone knows', so maybe you do know, when exactly i stopped praying or rather my style of praying. Maybe, you felt bad, because you stopped smiling at the temple. But, you know what, I had begun to worship people. They were the ones running this 'loka', they were the real heroes, each one of them striving towards achieving their desires, while joining forces to achieve collective desires. We, the people were running the show!

But with two elder brothers living the spiritual life and me living the 'doubtful' life, a debate was inevitable. I was lectured about your cosmic laws and stuff. I failed miserably in the debate followed with the toughest questions, 'Why are the successful people, always the ones who believe in themselves, believe in the power within?', 'Why some things never shape the way you want?', 'Why some street urchins go on to become major contributors to society?, etc, etc. You must have heard it in my home, if you had happened to tune in, what with my entire neighbourhood tuned in! Then, I realised who is the real hero..who is the script writer... who is the pupeteer..who is calling all the shots ??? Then I realised why you only smiled your glorious smile.

So, here I am at your doorstep, with hands joined humbly, Please forgive me, God. I will never stop praying again. I have a lot to thank for, yes, i really do. You saved me from evil, you carried me through my disbelief, you tolerated my anger, you even sent me friends who did the same! You opened a door when all others were shut on me. You are a tough coach but now i know why! So, Thank you, God and trust me there's no sarcasm here!

Yours Gratefully,

Vin

Who me ?

2008-12-07T22:16:00.003+05:30

..........You are a thinker, philosopher and an idealist. You have an even nature with a clear and sound mind. You are jolly and charming. You may not be very forthcoming with your feelings towards other people. Friendship means the world to you. You work well in groups. You have a deep interest in the psychic and occult sciences. You strive to do a lot for the mankind, given your planets favor you. You are artistic. You are diplomatic and can get your views across without hurting anyone. You are sociable and talkative and good company. You are quick witted with a very good sense of humor. You make friends easily and have no trouble keeping them.

Holy Christ! What a pack of bloody lies! And one would wonder who actually 'buys' all this stuff? I was tempted enough to buy the software; see, it said such good things about me. Naah..an ego booster this, just a trick as old as the hills - said, my inner voice. Or wait a minute, the machine can't go wrong, its only 'computing' what its been fed! So, I checked and re-checked all the stuff that needed to be fed: my date of birth, place of birth and the time of birth. The place of birth also needed the exact longitude and latitude mentioned in degrees. Oh no! everything was right... Indeed, the output had to be an accurate one!

My dear friends, philosophers, guides and the permutations/combinations thereby possible with these three roles, as you all know by now, I am not blessed with most of the aforementioned qualities...well, almost!

Does the software have a bug then? Or is it coded with only positive vibrations? Or better still, is it scripted to 'build the right self-image' , to see themselves in a new light and not their own perceptions? Or come on, am i that good? BS, i say!

Mathematics can never deviate. Coded with only positive vibrations - almost next to impossible. Built to boost self-image -- why on earth would an astrology software do that! So, by the method of deductive reasoning, one may deduce that the only reason remaining would be this...The output is accurate and in keeping with the qualities of Vin2. And did i say Vin2? One may ask, "Vin2.. who?" Well, Vin2 is the alter ego of Vin, thats me, the one who is typing now. Is there a need for a formal introduction? Naaah..We all have read the qualities she's endowed with. Soon, she will have her own space...her own blog. Entry is free but restricted. Watch out, folks!

Nameless..Faceless..

2008-12-05T03:47:00.005+05:30

upon the grass i tread, as alone as the sun
fresh hues of green paint the countryside
and little drops of glittering wet diamonds
tease my naked feet, chill the fire within

specks of dust shining through the rays,
as guards protecting the celestial gates
the horror, the hurt, the throbbing pain
how do i beg thee for a wee bit of grace!

deep within were enflamed buried desires,
long lost and forgotten in mindless pursuit
i look more closely for signs of content,
but the carcasses lay, scattered eerily all over!

envious no more of the calm without
nameless, faceless pangs of guilt and doubt
i watch in silence, fearing to intrude
my conscience is eroded, self misconstrued!

My Dear Mumbai

2008-12-03T18:07:00.004+05:30

She welcomes all
A warm embrace!
‘Gateway of India’
Her beauty ‘n grace!

Trusts her children
No matter the race
Balances unceasing greed
Never once doubts a deed!

Her heritage they destroy
Merciful heart is burnt
Their veil conceals, terror dictates
Sadly, no guts for a mutiny!

Wanders around her lone self;
Is love a contract or a bond?
If this be indeed gratitude,
Need it be paid thus?

This is my contribution to this week's 3WW (Three Word Wednesday). Help spread the fight against terror.

A sincere appeal

2008-12-01T17:30:00.006+05:30

Dear Editor,

Sir, I wish to introduce myself as a 'Common Mumbaikar', who after years of indifference has become numb to the vagaries of a Mumbai Life! The recent massacre has led me to believe that I am indeed ‘Impotent’. I wonder whether I have a right to celebrate on Jan 26! This letter to you is a desperate appeal to help me and the one billion Indians that are feeling equally miserable.

Where was I when some people, we label as ‘terrorists’, killed my brothers and raped my sisters? Why couldn’t I hear the horrified screams of their orphaned children? Well, Sir, as I’ve already mentioned that I stay in Mumbai, which is so ‘very far’ from these rotten things, you know the places where these rotten things are a norm- Kashmir, Assam, Orissa..and sometimes Delhi, Bengalooru, Hyderabad…So I thought ‘What have I got to do?’, I have enough screams to hear and enough orphans to deal with here in Mumbai itself! Every now and then, there is a bomb blast and the system breaks down; the authorities go into hiding and inevitably the courageous Hero would be the ‘Common Man’.

Well, Sir, I have brought the ‘Common Man’ intentionally here. As a reader of your esteemed newspaper ‘The Times of India’, I am a die-hard fan of your daily strip ‘You said it’ by the greatest ever cartoon illustrator: ‘R K Laxman’. It so correctly depicts the Common Man as a silent spectator of the system. In the cartoonist’s own words, the Common Man symbolises the mute millions of India, or perhaps the whole world, a silent spectator of marching time! He represents the hopes, aspirations, troubles and perhaps even foibles of the average Indian. I gather you know what I’m coming to.

My problem with you is this: Just as the Common Man, Sir, your newspaper too stands as a mute spectator all these years! Whenever a system crashes down, your esteemed newspaper would be the ‘first’ to bring us the ‘esteemed news’. And then in the race to be the ‘first’ to bring the next big news, Sir, you forget the burning past. I agree, Sir that you are the highest English language newspaper and in your own words, ‘very liberal’. But, it has occurred to me lately that you represent the masses. You are considered as the ‘Fourth Estate’ not for a rhyme, but for a reason. You, Sir should be publishing the ‘voices of us, commoners’. You should personify the woes of every Indian not just in a cartoon. You should take the lead in asking the ‘Why’s?’ from all our leaders, irrespective of which party they belong to or which party you support.

Our nation, no doubt invariably follows a pseudo-democracy. Where is the ‘For the people’ part? Why it so happens that, after the people are chosen by the people, the ‘chosen people’ easily transform into ‘politicians’. Forgive me, Sir, but ‘politics’ isn’t about managing any more, it has become a ‘murky thing’, and all this while you, the Fourth Estate just looks on…refuses to act. With all the powers that make you what you are, you should be the one to bell the cat. Yes, Mr. Editor, the time has come for you to actually put into practice, your sole purpose of starting this esteemed newspaper.

We Indians need to start a revolution now with an apt war cry. And so, we need you to voice this war cry. For if we don’t start now, there won’t be any Indians left! And then I wonder Sir, who would read your ‘esteemed newspaper’! Is this asking for too much?

Yours Sincerely,

Vin

Essentially Mumbai death statistics!

2008-11-30T01:43:00.004+05:30

The recent spate of events in Mumbai have sparked a rather disturbing but funny trend analysis in me. Given that it all started since 1993 blasts, I sure have collected pages and pages of data on the said analysis on a Comman Mumbaiite. So, let me introduce a Common Mumbaiite, one may imagine R. K. Laxman's Common Man. Yeah, a picture is worth a thousand words but I'm no cartoonist. Please bear with the words till I hone my cartooning skills!

Common Mumbaiite - The common man/woman one sees walking in the streets, who never indulges in any kinda warfare; who believes in Ram, Christ and Allah, who visits Siddhivinayak temple at Dadar every Tuesday, St. Michaels church at Mahim every Wednesday and the Haji Ali Dargah on Friday; who breathes the heavily-polluted air all the while jammed in heavy traffic; who pays his taxes before time and also 'haftha' to the local hooligans, petty civic workers and/or police; who finds 'bomb blasts' utterly passe; who worships 'Sachin Tendulkar' as a Hero; who dreams of becoming the next 'Dhirubhai Ambani'; who mentally and physically prepares to face the fierce monsoon lashes; who casually saves another life, putting his own in danger or losing it altogether while the authorities look on....;who dies of body but not of spirit.

Here are the statistics on the causes and the likelihood of death for a Common Mumbaiite:

What is the probability that a Common Mumbaiite dies from the pollution he lives in, given that he inhales as much CO as he does O2?

Ans. 0

...... dies from toiling his a** out in order to combat the ever increasing cost of living, vegetables and real estate prices?

Ans. 0.1

...... dies from heart disease given the high levels of stress, fast life and fast food?

Ans. 0.2

.....dies from brain disease given that he 'has to' use most of it in his survival strategy from the authorities and the so-called law and order system?

Ans. 0.3

.....dies from the 'malaria' caused by special Mumbai-bred mosquitoes given that these mosquitoes have mutated over the years just like him?

Ans. 0.4

.... dies from crossing the railway track since the 'authorities' forgot to build the 'foot over-bridge'?

Ans. 0.5

....dies while crossing the road given that he has to break pedestrian rules as he is already late for work due to the f***ing traffic?

Ans. 0.6

....dies when a local corporator and/or police barks at or bites him given that he deals with them almost right from his food, water, clothing and shelter to a kindergarten admission for his kids?

Ans. 0.7

....dies when he is considered a threat to the ruling party and inadvertently comes in the line of fire given that the 'Z' category security of our beloved ministers, VIPs shoot almost anything that comes in visible range?

Ans. 0.8

...dies from a bullet given that he is always ducking them in trains, buses, temples and crowded places and is now a trained expert in the same?

Ans. 0.9

.....dies from a bomb blast given that a blast has occured just inches away from him decorating him with shrapnel and blood, his own and some others, most of his life?

Ans. 1

P.S.: This trend holds true only for Mumbaiites. In cases of death other than Mumbaiites, the trend would be reversed! And, yes, no more beauty tips from the kitchen, I'd rather give a beauty tip from my soul.

C for Courage: No beauty is complete if there is fear within. Courage is the only answer to the Devil. Stand fearless, the world salutes thy soul!

Betrayed

2008-11-28T01:40:00.005+05:30

of what is and what isn't?
this i shall not ask,
of who did and who didn't
this too i shan't ask

they sweared on oath
they loved her most
and when she beckons-
would protect her post

she lay there still
betrayed and torn-
no voice to bring
alas, of her own!

while under siege
she held on hope,
the humbuggers all,
"look, who bears the oath!"

Unnamed, incurable, embarassing, chronic mental disorder

2008-11-24T00:25:00.001+05:30

Vin was the most brightest star in this side of the hemisphere and an apostle of the innocents, until the bugs got her. The bugs of the 'Untitled, incurable, embarassing, chronic mental disorder'. One may ask 'What? Who? Where? How?'. All answers lie ahead...Read at your own risk!

The seeds were sown in kindergarten itself. Tiny, innocent toddlers like me were taught to associate new words with similar stuff to aid memory. Little vin enjoyed this game, little did she know that the seeds were germinating!! Every new word had a little relative. One fine day, vin was no more a toddler..she had blossomed! Now, can one blame her for what occured after that, she associated 'interesting' words, of course to aid her memory, alas now these memories wont fade soon...Associations should be technically based on sound, color, feel, smell but here they were usually baseless, illogical, totally irrelevant ones. Some are her own associations while some of them have been transmitted unawares. Nevertheless, she struggles with these growing collectibles and posting them ensures a light wink in her eye. So, here goes...

All teenagers dread this emotionally depressing monster, I did too. I'm talking about 'pimples', Only my germs associated it somehow with 'nipples', dont ask me why. The germs have multiplied and now only associate in one lane. Side effects include utter disgust at all 'pimple reduction/control/removal' creams. One horrible incident: a guy asked for solution for his pimples, I eagerly said 'Just have a lot of cooling stuff, your nipples would disappear!'

I wished to disappear...

A dear friend is always 'associating' the word 'prosecuted' with 'prostituted'. No logic, right? Wrong, the germs know better. These germs are 'gems' in illogical, embarassing link-ups. All boards with 'Trespassers will be prosecuted' becomes 'Trespassers will be prostituted!', whatever that means. Holy Christ, I will never trespass! This dear friend has associated another gem. A question like 'What are the pros and cons of this method?' becomes a story about prostitutes and conmen!! He sure loves our munni bai's and munshiji's from bollywood.

Another dear friend, this time a 'she', has compelled me to forgo one of my favorite musicians - Kenny G. Not her fault though, its her vernacular tongue.Our most popular, beloved three-lettered word 'sex' becomes 'sax'. When I listened to Kenny G, I usually imagined him with his 'Saxophone' in his mouth, but after that it only looks like an instrument of 'Sex'!

The germs are in their most active state.

Once I saw a very beautiful painting of two pigeons. Only later I realised to my horror, that the beautiful painting was actually a topless woman!! The germs are busy at work. All mentions of pigeons in prose, poetry, peace talks, images of them carrying twigs and paintings especially make me sore. The topless woman scares me! Am sure the germs are winking now.

All sutra ending words associate automatically with the 'Kamasutra', the germs know better. I wonder how i'll ever wear the Mangal Sutra.

Kohinoor Continental is not just a 'Gem' of a hotel in my area, its rather an embarassing one. Even while taking an auto, I have to tell the poor chap 'Kohinoor Continental Hotel jaana hain', lest he take me elsewhere. The germs have etched the kohinoor ads with permanent marker. That chap might be innocent, but my germs arent na!

And, did I say this is an extremely contagious disorder? The malfunctioning germs from the writers cranium immediately transmit themselves onto the readers cranium via brain waves during the process of reading. This survival strategy ensures healthy (read embarassment-causing), more effective and treatment-resistant progeny.

Congratulations, you've caught the bug too!!

P.S: Now that I've infected you, I better compensate with my beauty tip from the kitchen.

B for Besan: Besan is the hindi equivalent for chickpea flour. If the fallout of a sunny day at the beach is an unwanted tan, fret not! All you have to do is mix besan, a few drops of lemon juice and curds. Apply it to your face and other tanned parts of your body. Leave it on till it dries and rinse of with cool water. Repeat this procedure for 10 days.

Oh, BTW....Besan is dead effective against pimples!

An invitation from Mr. Black Cobra!

2008-11-22T02:43:00.002+05:30

Yeah, you read that right. It all happened about a month ago. It was 5 am and I was as usual lost, lost not on the god-damn roads without billboards (am directionally disillusioned, remember??), but lost in slumberland!

He stood right in front of me, all black and shiny, now dont ask how a snake stands?; so he balanced himself upright on his coiled rear end and hissed an invite, quite an enchanting invite though I havent learnt the snake lingo, I knew for sure that the enchanting feeling it gave me was indeed my call from above !!! chalo bulava aya hain, mujhe matha ne bulaya hain.

I was glad that at last some-body/animal rather reptile has invited me to its den for some electrifying exchange of thoughts and/or theories, at least thats what I thought it meant. Come on..what else could a shiny, black cobra want from a beautiful girl like me? why else would a shiny, black cobra scare the night-lights out of me?

So, this woman of substance AKA Smart Alecca, does an innocent U-turn. She confides to her mom. Now, as all moms are, her mom was too! One may ask what? TERRIFIED, I say!!

She drags Smart Alecca all the way to the family astrologer, a Mr. Know-it-all, dont we all have one? Incidentally, he also happens to interpret dreams/nightmares whatever. That trip called upon urgently for another one...only this trip would be another 1000 kms plus from Mumbai - the trip to the Kukke Subramanya temple only 100 kms from Mangalore, where my roots are!

Here, Lord Subramanya is worshiped in the form of a Cobra, so that was indeed an invite; a call from above! Legend has it that sarpa dosha (curse of a snake) may be pardoned here by the Lord Himself provided the appropriate pooja is performed. We performed one of the poojas as prescribed by our family doctor errr family astrologer!!

Guess what I prayed for, rather humbly and naively:

Vinny ki tammana hain ke Hero use mil jaye

Chahe meri jaan jaye, chahe mera dil jaye

P.S: I'm obliged to add useful footnotes for having wasted your precious time thus far blabbering about snakes, God, Snake-God, beliefs, superstition and the likes. So, here goes my A to Z tips on Beauty from the Kitchen!! (given that men too are beauty conscious)..For all men who aren't, just ponder on the SAKA fairness cream ad - EVOLVE!

A for Aloe vera: It is the perfect cooling remedy for a sun-burnt skin. All you have to do is pluck a fresh aloe vera leaf and extract its gel. Apply it to the sun-burnt area and rinse it off after it dries. Repeat the procedure for some days. (a tip from the garden rather?)

B for ?(check out next post!)

Love, pain and other catalysts!

2008-11-10T20:50:00.007+05:30

I often wonder as to what is the secret formula for an average Joe / Jane to turn into a ‘somebody’? (and now even more after the huge, emotional marathon of comments on my theory!!) How and when do they find that formula? Is it the urge germinating after years of being tagged as ‘average’? Is it a ‘natural trait’- like something which is inherited, like something which tells them ‘You have loads to give the world, so go on, get it out, what are you waiting for”? Or, is it some kind of inner transformation they go through, at a sub-conscious level, in the process of combating a broken heart, a broken dream, loss of a loved one or the general injustice/ imbalance prevailing in the world?

Well, I could come up with only my personal theories....err ideas!

I observed my own evolution; I observed the evolutions of folks around me; I read through autobiographies/ biographies and my conclusion was this:

All greatness was related to creativity, all creativity was in turn related to love, pain and other emotional catalysts !

Even a tiny piece of creative work comes from either of the emotions stated above, and immediately the average Joe / Jane would get tagged as great! The once-average-now-great wonders what happened to me? I’m only trying to overcome the pain - my sweetheart is no more; I’m only trying to survive – my dad’s no more! but what they don’t realise is this: In the process of overcoming , escaping or surviving pain, this pain serves as a catalyst in bringing them closer to their ‘inner self’, the ‘inner self’ – temple of infinite potential, wherein anything that can be ‘thought of’, can be ‘created’. When we look back at our roots, our parents and their roots and so on..., we see a chain of transformations occurring at major ‘emotional points’ – loss of a loved one or a beloved, separation from a place of childhood days, letting go of a much sought after desire, unable to live up to expectations of near ones, etc.

The pain is pierced at to let out to drip off....very much like the boil that is pierced at to let out the pus, knowing that not only will it cause more pain but also it is the only way to heal, the only way to move on! Leading to original, hereby unthought-of creations! Leading to better artists, poets, writers, musicians, dancers, singers, sculptors, inventors, etc.

Some of us here can undoubtedly relate this to their experiences while writing, is it not that the best piece comes from the worst pain?

Ending with two of my favourite lines from ‘Tujhse naraaz nahi..’ from the movie ‘Masoom’:

zindagi tere gham ne hamein rishte naye samjhaaye

mile jo hamein dhoop mein mile chhaon ke thande saaye

The Real Theory of Relativity!

2008-11-07T03:32:00.011+05:30

OK! So, what’s this? Has Alecca the Smart, finally lost it? Is she hearing voices? Is she on unseen, unknown subtle planes? Or…has she started thinking!

Hah !

Not really, one may say it all just came to her – a million suns shone right through and a million sparks flew by! This theory just popped out amongst the peanuts she’s got in there! This theory which she wishes to share with the world - Let another million suns shine and another million sparks flow by…So here goes:

The Real Theory of Relativity
Dedicated to:

All who’ve known thy lover’s scorn,

Burnt thy fates unknown throughout

For true love, forgives none -

For true love, forgiveness knows not

L = T F square
where, L implies Love

T implies Time and

F implies Forgiveness

It all came when I was staring at nothingness or so it seems to my folks. Well, I cant say when or particularly pinpoint a time as one would note down for a newborn! But, It was more like an itch on the insides, no, not that insides, the grey matter insides where one dares to step on, who knows what devils are larking by? By thoughts, I was gloomy; by feelings, I was sad. But, by spirits, I was awake! Yes, and I say that for the record- my spirits were high, no not on RC or JW or Desi, rather one may imagine a high-spirited-euphoric-revelation kinda state, a state in which only the Divine Voices can be heard!

Having just gotten out of the cage, err.. I mean having come out of a relationship, I paused to look back, to feel the myriads of emotions once so intense, to take back all items of value, to wipe off all traces of selfishness, to mend all the broken dreams but imagine what I saw: A bright light with a silver-like hue ! and imagine what I heard:

“And all the blind with hearts of gold,

thine eyes can see but not behold

hath no rays that pass through gold,

hath no rays that pass through gold!

She stood before me, all naked but not cold –

the Truth as is forever to be told”.

And the Truth lies here…

Love is the eternal, the omnipotent; the ever stable life force. Time is the medium, the constant; it was, it is and it will be. Forgiveness is the multiplier factor, the more one forgives, the more it brings out Love. With Time being in a perpetual state of who-knows-the-beginning and who-knows-the-end, Love is growing or diminishing in much the same measure as does Forgiveness! As long as a single entity wishes to thrive, it must do so collectively in the absolute sense, thereby maintaining the Universal Equilibrium! So, my dear friends, waste not your precious time (in reading this!), but Forgive with a pure heart and Love would only have to multiply, etched on the sands of Time for eternity!

Credits: I would sincerely like to thank the below for saying what they said, for doing what they did, for just being there to cross my path, without which I wouldn’t have learnt this most amazing Real Theory of Relativity!

• All my lovers, past and present

• All I love, past and present
• When both of us were in love, only past… oops!
• Michael Bolton’s evergreen album – Time, Love and Tenderness!
……………….and last but not the least
• Our dear own, Mr. Albert Einstein, of course !

Jingle Bells..Jingle Bells!

2008-11-06T01:26:00.001+05:30

dashing through the votes

’n a million tons of hope

O'er the hill he goes

fighting gravity all the way

bells of victory ring

making spirits bright

what fun it is to laugh and sing

a victory song tonight !

oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to be

in a new chapter in history

jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to believe

nuances of change will be !

a day or two ago

i thought it impossible

’n soon Mr. Barack Obama

was seated at his throne

the foes were lean and lank

misfortune seemed their lot

they got into a drifted bank

’n then they got upsot

oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to be

the change you want to see

jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to be

in a whole new democracy ! yeah

oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to be

the change you want to see

jingle bells, jingle bells

jingle all the way

oh, what fun it is to be

in a whole new democracy !

This is my response to 3WW, please check out more fun stuff , weaved out of only three words!

Good Bye!

2008-11-03T14:51:00.004+05:30

Just two simple words, yet how difficult to say!

I dedicate this post to a very ‘special’ friend of mine.

‘Special’ not because he made me feel like an ‘Angel’, but rather I saw my dark side, the side which I never acknowledged, the side which I thought was a non-existing entity sticking on to me, the side which I preferred to see only in others, the side which I believed only others had !

He was my partner-in-crime. Of course, the criminal was me but he would never reveal it to anyone, making the crime so much more fun and the criminal more happy!

He was the priest at the confession counter! He would listen to my confessions without judging me. Hmmm, if only we all were like that!

He was my confidant, yes, I could tell him the most heinous crimes I have committed, am committing right now and plan to commit soon. I would even ask him suggestions for crime improvement!

He was my dustbin, always received the heaps of rubbish I would throw like a gift! This dustbin never complained!

He was my tear-sponge! He would just soak up all the waterworks and lighten me by a few tons at least. Hehehe

He had a great sense of colour, who else could tolerate my F-sprinkled lingo!

He made me ‘love’ myself; see myself through a more kinder heart and a less critical eye!

He made me ‘believe’ in myself, made the ‘blooming’ for real…unleashed the infinite within myself, helped me break ‘fear’ and realize my true potential.

So dear ‘Special’ friend, thank you for crossing my path and enriching it forever! With promises, the beautiful lessons learnt and always being aware of the dark in me, I move on. The Show Must Go On!

As all good things come to an end.. here comes the moment of truth… with loads of best wishes and brushing off a happy tear….Good Bye!

Real victims of war

2008-10-30T01:37:00.005+05:30

Twilight sets in across the fields;

sweet are the smells of the daffodils

The skies, cast in a reddish hue,

beckon the little soul, albeit somewhat close

The little boy runs off to play;

steps on a mine, a device to kill and decay

His mother awaits with steaming rice

Her little angel would be home in a trice!

Little did she know, her angel would be no more

But as she sees the damage done

She screams out to the heavens above

Why do you spread the message of love?

O Why do you spread the message of love?

Clutching the corpse to her bosom,

And a knife deep inside her heart

In vain, she breathes unto him

this life, that she now longs to depart

She runs across the fields; she runs helter-skelter

What for is this war? Who will give me an answer?

But, no soul heeds to her cries, alas, no soul heeds to her cries..

Just then the heavens speak, "your child is safe in our arms,

protected from mankind, may you learn the lesson of love

pray, do not question the messages from above".

This is about the innocent victims of landmines, where most survivors are maimed for life. I couldn't bring myself to put up a picture as its too repulsive. This poem is in response to 3WW

An Ode to a Banyan tree

2008-10-25T14:25:00.006+05:30

O Merciful ‘n’ kind banyan tree-

In thy shade thrive the Lord’s other beautiful beings

Thou welcomes the burning molten rays and,

Tranforms them into a mothers’ protective embrace!

Does it not ache thee, when thou arms are cut and bleeding?

When gratitude is forgotten, what difference does it make?

In our cunning and naivety, we often forget;

The more we cut, the more we burn and suffer.

This is my humble attempt at weaving a poem from 3 given words!! Please check out amazing write-ups at 3WW: Three Word Wednesday here.

Another encounter ...

2008-10-17T15:36:00.005+05:30

The only constant in my life these days are the ‘encounters’ I’m having. Though infrequent, they happen nonetheless. And the sad thing is that, I have no control whatsoever! All hell breaks loose, once the horoscope results are positive. A date would be fixed for the ‘encounter’’. Not any date but a ‘good’ date based on "auspicious-ness" of the date.

In an ideal world, I should be delighted with this ‘encounter’; our horoscope match was a record 32.5 points ! Surely, the heavens had scripted our union, only this union would bring the much required marital bliss and whatnot… But, even the heavens weren’t aware, even the heavens didn’t know what I was to know on that late Sunday evening.

This guy was at the meeting place earlier than the schedule and immediately called me to say "yey !! me first me first" not in the same words though but it meant the same whatsoever. I reached at sharp 7, one look at him and I was sure the heavens have committed a grave crime; what were they thinking? For starters, he had blood shot eyes, enough to scare the angelic, innocent eyes I had! Fear crept in; somehow I knew the evening wouldn’t be a pleasant one. Let us give him a name. Let’s say 'Mr. Red eyes'! So, this Mr. Red eyes does the 'man thing', he leads me to an eatery and after much jostling and compromising, we get a shared seat! Yes, the AC room was there; nearly empty, so cool, so inviting but Mr. Red eyes had other plans.

The mental questionnaire was shot at me rhythmically and systematically irrespective of whether I had finished answering the previous one or not, but who's listening anyways! My answers would test our compatibility, just to confirm with the 32.5 the heavens had fixed. Quite pleased with the first two lines of any answer, he would shoot the next question at once. Time Management. I say!

The last thing I remember is getting a seat near the kitchen, me sweating like a pig and answering queries about horoscope, love and expectations.. Coming to expectations, when Mr. Red eyes realized that my mouth was all dry and thirsty, he called for the waiter. I thought 'OK, he's human after all!" I asked for a chilled sprite, which fortunately wasn’t available, so I wondered what else would quench me, but before that Mr. Red eyes ordered for 2 hot coffees. Hmmm, expectations sure got fulfilled!

The next thing I remember is coming back to my smarts. All the while he talked about himself in a strange manner, something superior reeked out of him. I knew one thing for sure. I will repay him somehow and with interest. After listening keenly, I realized that he was proud by virtue of being born as 'Brahmin'. The devil in me awakened at once. I knew how to repay!

I told him all kinds of stories about Brahmins and how stupid they can really get sometimes. he he he... that set him up, all fire'n'smoke in the cockpit (pun intended). All you people do is eat smelly fish and other creatures, you have never learnt, analyzed or documented any holy scripture; nor will you be able to do so with your brick-heads. We come directly from the Aryan race, Tamil (his language) was developed from Sanskrit and is the mother of all Dravidian languages and so on and so forth...(By the way, aren't the Aryans and Dravidians two separate races?)

Anyways, who cared? Triumphant as I was at that time, I realized his chattering about himself ceased and he began to look at me with curiosity. I'm sure he was wondering how can the heavens choose a lowly Dravidian woman with a Big Mouth for a princely Aryan man who is god's gift to any woman!

Well, after that I had the time of my life. I said the coffee was really good, the ambience was just amazing and how grateful I was that we met here and so on and so forth...He was glaring all the time!

So that was it. Another of these encounters over! I wonder how many marks did I score in the questionnaire after all that gyaan on the races! Mr. Red eyes didn’t call back. Thank Heavens for that!