Jun 13, 2009

Vinphy’s Phone laws:

1. The rate of battery drain increases exponentially to the rate of urgency of an expected call.

2. Just when you’re expecting the ‘Will you be mine?’ part, the battery takes a cue and plays dead.

3. ‘Roaming’ is just that – keep roaming till you find a signal.

4. ‘Happy to help you’ is an oxymoron.

5. ‘Caller tunes’ can also be called as ‘Cooler tunes’.

6. The month you had taken a ‘maun vrath’ will always have the highest bill.

7. Phone companies have a sense of humour. How else can one explain the ‘service tax’?

8. Value added services add more value to the company’s turnover.

9. The ‘mute’ button goes deaf when you speak the Truth involuntarily.

10. A dog can follow you everywhere except for closed, confined spaces eg. Toilets, lifts

11. The price of a cellphone will begin falling only after you have bought it.

12. 'Customer Care' is short for 'Customer.. Care a Damn for you'.


Arv said...

that reminds me... we need to talk :P

take care da... cheers...

Amal Bose said...

lol at no 3 ;)

100 % agreement on 11th one.. always happens :(

CM-Chap said...


Value added services add more value to the company’s turnover.
‘Happy to help you’ is an oxymoron.

Someone seems to be totally pissed off

peter said...

13. Activation and deactivation of unwanted services are not in ur hands irrespective of how responsible and awake u are.

14. The best model becomes the most common and ignored one in no time.

15. Customer care service centers are not Dogs, at least dogs are faithful.

many more ..... :)
gud one :P

DPhatsez said...

taking down notes..


der Bergwind said...

a mobile phone is used primarily for voice calls and texts.

but 'happy to help' and for 'customer care' and 'owners pride', 'love's delight'... there HAS TO be a meeeggga pixel camera, mp3 musik, FM, video call, recording, games...

its not just a phone, its who we are, aint so?? funny how we expect the unexpected from ourselves...

a harmless post, true... but shows how we wanna live life outta box, uncaring :)

Ashwathy said...

heheh... u are good at coming up with stuff like these eh? :D
and yes i agree with msot of the laws! LOL

muthu said...

Vinnie - U should be given some award like-

"the law maker of Blog ville" yaar.

Your laws are so much fun and ironic.

Loved every single one of them.

I esp loved the 2 nd one and the 8 th one.

Hey & you new DP is cool. Is that Really U?? then U have a great smile yaar.. :)

Do come up with more rules.. :P

cheers vinnie. :)

Karthik youngistan said...

The maximum number of calls you would have received will be

hi!!main reshma.mujhse aur meri friends se dost karne keliye dial 5512121.rs 2/min

har gehre rishtey ki shuruwaat hoti hai dosti. To kya aap anjali,sonia,kavita jaise hazaron doston main shaamil nahi hona chahenge?dial 5512121@rs 2/min

Prasant Naidu. said...

kewel :)
imagine a foreigner calling and ur caller tune says "Gayatri Mantra"

Keep Rocking,

raMmY said...

Hey..super one!!!

LOL at the number "4" ...and yeah completely agree to the points "11" and "12"

Archana said...

Well said like always. :) Number 1 "The rate of battery drain increases exponentially to the rate of urgency of an expected call." is SO true!

My deranged cell phone is over-touch sensitive and definitely has a mind of its own, I have been on the phone with someone and if I lean too close to the screen it has led to situations where it accidentally goes on speaker, or worse, hangs up. I'm replacing it this month, thank god. I couldn't do it any earlier cause of the infamous phone 'contracts'. Ugh, they're so binding. Lol.

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

wow vinnie tussi gr8 ho! Completely agree with them :)

Vinnie said...

yep!! n that too loads:)

:) it has to..thats a rule!

n that someone has only her blog to get it all out at!

u too, dosth!! i can't agree more..n many more...:P
n how about the Vodafone dog that claims to follow u everywhere???

Good boy!! may u learn from the wise (battered) ones :)

Vinnie said...

der Bergwind
hit me at one tangent this time...when priyanka says it, it feels so good, lekin it needs an addition..."Its not just a phone, its who we are...fools, aint we?"

thanks...i am the chosen one!
u agree with Most of them..tell me which u dont agree with..i will be happy to prove it to u :P

hmmmm..u r reading me na..thats enough reward :P
2 n 8 - personal experiences, right?
nopes, thats Vin2 - my other self..she used to blog here earlier n i'll convey ur compliments to her...thank u:)

yikes! i'm relieved i never got any such call..maybe the phone companies have a scripted program that makes such calls to 'Young boys' ..so did u call?? Rs 2 per min is so chaep da :P

Vinnie said...

thaanku! foreigner these days know the mantra by heart unlike us Indians :)

:) thanks yaar! 1-10 r also agreeable na:P

thanks girl!! experience has made us wiser...ouch! ur phone has gone bonkers..get a good phone since the service providers r all the same - a bunch of jokers making jokes at ur expense n above all extracting a 'service tax' for the bloody joke..grrrrrr!

hehhehe..khaafi saare phones aur service providers ke baad...'wise' ban gaya si!

ItAteMyBrain said...

No 11 too good.

Funny read

Hopeless Romantic said...

lol, it reminds me of a episode in the serial office-office when a mobile company advertise with a tagline - kone kone mein humhara network. Pankaj kapur goes everywhere to find the network..he goes back n the ppl from the mobile company says...Kya aapne kone mein check kiya...wahan karo..humhara n.w sirf wahin aata hain..lol :P

Hopeless Romantic said...

nice collection :)

Chriz said...

you are really annoyed with the phone firms.. arent you?

Vinnie said...

thanks man..experience speaks!

Hopeless Romantic
lolss...kone kone mein network..literally!!
thanks for sharing..
glad u liked this...vaise yeh sab sachhe rules hain...not office-office:P

annoyed?? i could just about shoot them all if i can build a transmission tower of my own...

Ragpicker said...

The price of a cellphone will begin falling only after you have bought it

Thats me always !!!!!!!! great post again!

Makes perfect sense

kanagu said...

/*The price of a cellphone will begin falling only after you have bought it.*/

I will buy after the company stops the production.. LOL

/*Phone companies have a sense of humour. How else can one explain the ‘service tax’?*/

LOL :)

/*The rate of battery drain increases exponentially to the rate of urgency of an expected call.*/

can't stop laughing :)

Anonymous said...

ROFL... Amazing observation :) Too good :)

Hemish said...


Nikki said...

Lolz. All the twelve points are so true. I have been left hanging on the phone trying to get something corrected by the customer care people!

Sandeep said...

Real analysis....
good postmortem of the real things...

you can be good surgeon... :)

Aditi..............:) said...

Sorry to have come in late.....my god your are the coolest in such things!!! :P
I love reading your posts babe....keep it up always!!! :)

numerounity said...

Truly agreed [off the record]. Include one more- It always keeps on ringing when you don’t want to. But when you are free, it never rings!!!

Vinnie said...

then why do u 'buy' it..just steal it! thank u :)

ok..ok..u may laugh at my plight but do follow them..they r all proven...

Miss Kido
thaaanku..thaanku behen...tum has has kar girna nahi bisthar se!

glad to have made u LOL...at least i know u 'really' exist..thanks for the visit :)

Vinnie said...

:) good to lol away at times as these...

'real analysis'...u make me sound like a TV news channel...Thanks for the suggestion:P

thanks sweets...the feeling's mutual..i vent it out n u love to gobble it up :P

hehehheee...should have included that ...totally agreed!
if u have set a 'cheap item number' as ur ring tone, and u r having a one-on-one with ur manager, the bloody thing has to ring loudly!

d gypsy! said...

The ‘mute’ button goes deaf when you speak the Truth involuntarily.

lol...all the points are so true...and i so agree with the CC one...man customer care people give me a headache...

BrownPhantom said...

Yeah..never noticed that oxymoron :)...I like the way you apply Murphical philosophy to daily little things.

Twisted Elegance.... said...

#2 :D

#12 :D :D

Nice blog...came here through aditi's :)

Vinnie said...

d gypsy
:) thaaanku!

:) now u did! little things too follow Murphy :)

Twisted Elegance
thanks so much!! n u r most welcome :)

Kartz said...

Heh heh heh, That was SO Vins-esque. :)

Guess who's back? No cookies for the correct guess. :P

Peace. Be well.

sm said...

nice poem
sorry to know about your loss

Vinnie said...

thanks..so glad u back here..most oldies have retired from blogosphere :)

hehehe...it had to be nice na :)
every loss is also a gain..so things r always balanced, always in equilibrium ..3 yrs made me wise:P

Shanu said...

ROFL..Good ones!

Vinnie said...

thanks Shanu!

Manjari Singh said...

good ones!

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