Women are simple, simple lives and even simpler needs. Period.
What do we ask for in a man? Nothing much, just that he is a good man with a little bit extra thrown in for good measure.
And, when I say ‘a little bit’, I mean just that ..a little bit
Is this asking for too much?
Please overhear the following tapped conversation between a simple woman and her man in an ‘ideal’ world…
Simple woman (SW): hullo, sweets, I’m missing you so much!
Man (M): oh honey…I miss you too, lets catch up for dinner tonight?
SW: yeah sure… ‘m dying to see you
M: great honey, now you get ready while I come to pick you up at lets say 8?
SW: hey sweets..that’s perfect! Its 10 to 8 and I’ll be ready in a jiffy!
M: right, I’ll be at your door sooner than that…miss you honey..byebye
SW: byebye and the door’s open!
And now, overhear the same tapped conversation between the simple woman and her man in our world (a world where women are misconstrued as cryptic crosswords and god alone knows who started this baseless rumour) …
SW: hullo, sweets, I’m missing you so much!
M: WOW… any plans, honey? (mono-thought process)
SW: long time… let’s meet up… ‘m dying to see you
M: yeah sure… me too dying to see you, honey (tonight’s the night! yey)
SW: Can you come to my place at lets say 8?
M: sure, honey! Anytime for you (WOW..ain’t I lucky?)
SW: byebye sweets, catch you soon
M: byebye honey (yeah yeah..catch you alright!)
At sharp 8 pm, the door bell rings…
SW: hey sweets, is that you?
M: yes, my highness…just open the door and I promise to serve you for the rest of the night errr sorry… rest of my life
SW: tonight’s the special occasion..i need to get ready, dear… just 5 mins, ok? The steps beside the gate are quite soft and cosy sometimes.
M: no probs, honey…you take your time… I can wait forever (deeply pondering what’s the special occasion !)
After 20 simple minutes have passed by…
M: honey, these roses are losing colour… (sounding pale as the mosquitoes had a bloody treat out of him!)
SW: jus’ a minute…I wont be long, sweets…this occasion is so very special, dear
M: yeah, that’s so true honey (worried about the occasion ..forgets all about his plans… shaking his brains… her birthday? No; our first date? No, It never happened as yet; our first kiss? No way…that’s pending…I remember that…ooops, no luck)
Another 30 simple minutes later…
He is all white with severe red bumps all over… all excitement of the night has vanished… he just longs to drown in the champagne he’s bought and sleep off forever….
She opens the door, looking all pretty and pink what with her ‘newly bought for the special occasion’ pink and gold bordered organza saree.
SW: hey sweets, what happened to you?
M: you look so beautiful, honey (barely opening his eyes)
SW: thank you dear… you know tonight’s our ‘special occasion’… I’m so excited!
M: yeah, me too, honey (what’s the occasion and why the hell is she dressed up like a Christmas tree?)
SW: remember sweets, you dropped me here at these very steps (now opening the champagne bottle with the simple intention of celebration)
M: yeah, I do honey (rattling his brains even harder now…when did I drop her and how does it become a special occasion?)
SW: remember how drunk we were, fresh from Adi’s party? You literally dropped down here…I fell in love with you all over again, sweets! (pouring the champagne and serving him)
M: yeah, that was so special, honey! (toasting the champagne and sipping it slowly to bring in some signs of normal life, still wondering what was special!)
So, that was it. The simple woman and her man celebrate their first important occasion together at the steps of her home. It was exactly a week ago, when he had dropped her home from a friend’s party and she fell in love with him and decided to keep him as her ‘warrior prince’ forever. Thee, dropped me safely home, surely wouldn’t thee stake thy life for me?
And I wonder why they say that rocket science is easier?