Oct 9, 2008

One simple man!

Women are simple, simple lives and even simpler needs. Period.

What do we ask for in a man? Nothing much, just that he is a good man with a little bit extra thrown in for good measure.
And, when I say ‘a little bit’, I mean just that ..a little bit

Is this asking for too much?

Please overhear the following tapped conversation between a simple woman and her man in an ‘ideal’ world…

Simple woman (SW): hullo, sweets, I’m missing you so much!
Man (M): oh honey…I miss you too, lets catch up for dinner tonight?
SW: yeah sure… ‘m dying to see you
M: great honey, now you get ready while I come to pick you up at lets say 8?
SW: hey sweets..that’s perfect! Its 10 to 8 and I’ll be ready in a jiffy!
M: right, I’ll be at your door sooner than that…miss you honey..byebye
SW: byebye and the door’s open!

And now, overhear the same tapped conversation between the simple woman and her man in our world (a world where women are misconstrued as cryptic crosswords and god alone knows who started this baseless rumour) …

SW: hullo, sweets, I’m missing you so much!
M: WOW… any plans, honey? (mono-thought process)
SW: long time… let’s meet up… ‘m dying to see you
M: yeah sure… me too dying to see you, honey (tonight’s the night! yey)
SW: Can you come to my place at lets say 8?
M: sure, honey! Anytime for you (WOW..ain’t I lucky?)
SW: byebye sweets, catch you soon
M: byebye honey (yeah yeah..catch you alright!)

At sharp 8 pm, the door bell rings…

SW: hey sweets, is that you?
M: yes, my highness…just open the door and I promise to serve you for the rest of the night errr sorry… rest of my life
SW: tonight’s the special occasion..i need to get ready, dear… just 5 mins, ok? The steps beside the gate are quite soft and cosy sometimes.
M: no probs, honey…you take your time… I can wait forever (deeply pondering what’s the special occasion !)

After 20 simple minutes have passed by…

M: honey, these roses are losing colour… (sounding pale as the mosquitoes had a bloody treat out of him!)
SW: jus’ a minute…I wont be long, sweets…this occasion is so very special, dear
M: yeah, that’s so true honey (worried about the occasion ..forgets all about his plans… shaking his brains… her birthday? No; our first date? No, It never happened as yet; our first kiss? No way…that’s pending…I remember that…ooops, no luck)

Another 30 simple minutes later…

He is all white with severe red bumps all over… all excitement of the night has vanished… he just longs to drown in the champagne he’s bought and sleep off forever….

She opens the door, looking all pretty and pink what with her ‘newly bought for the special occasion’ pink and gold bordered organza saree.

SW: hey sweets, what happened to you?
M: you look so beautiful, honey (barely opening his eyes)
SW: thank you dear… you know tonight’s our ‘special occasion’… I’m so excited!
M: yeah, me too, honey (what’s the occasion and why the hell is she dressed up like a Christmas tree?)
SW: remember sweets, you dropped me here at these very steps (now opening the champagne bottle with the simple intention of celebration)
M: yeah, I do honey (rattling his brains even harder now…when did I drop her and how does it become a special occasion?)
SW: remember how drunk we were, fresh from Adi’s party? You literally dropped down here…I fell in love with you all over again, sweets! (pouring the champagne and serving him)
M: yeah, that was so special, honey! (toasting the champagne and sipping it slowly to bring in some signs of normal life, still wondering what was special!)

So, that was it. The simple woman and her man celebrate their first important occasion together at the steps of her home. It was exactly a week ago, when he had dropped her home from a friend’s party and she fell in love with him and decided to keep him as her ‘warrior prince’ forever. Thee, dropped me safely home, surely wouldn’t thee stake thy life for me?

And I wonder why they say that rocket science is easier?


Johnny said...

:) Vin, we might have to believe the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planet.

No wonder there is a saying that that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

Hmmm, It is a fact which can't be denied that the difficult thing to read is that of a women's mind.

Fr Jerry said...

Enjoyed reading your blog post. What I like most is that the post has a message and at the same time the readers are given their own space to choose the conclusions they want to draw. I personally feel that both men and women are complicated to understand and that itself is the challenge everyone accepts and takes on by way of a relationship.

Chris said...

yeah agree truly to fr jerry.

And I think the second example, the one from real world is good. I'm happy the way it is. These small differences b/w men and women are the ones which make them attractive. If both were of the same type, it would have been a big bore.

The first couple seem as colorless and predictable like the parents in "Pleasentville"

sawan said...

vins... first a complaint : my blog settings could not detect a feed for ur blog [what ever that means] and hence refuse to update each time u post! do something and fix it..

about ur post.. i was wondering if i should really tie the knot and u gave me an answer... my marriage plans are on hold! ;-)

Vin said...

@Johnny: its difficult to read a woman's mind?? then same holds true for reading men's minds !!

@Fr Jerry: thanks so much :) you got the gist! u r perfectly right about men and women accepting the challenge to understand each other n working towards a symbiotic relationship... isnt that what makes life spicy ?

Vin said...

hey Chris, thanks so much man!!
also, i need to check out the couple u r referring from 'Pleasantville'... that would be boring fun.. hehhee

Vin said...

hey sawan, my blog has conked off in some way...serious bugs in it..i dont have layout settings... whatever changes i have done.. its thru HTML coding only...so, pls tell me how where to change what ? better still..u try to put my link in ur blog roll again n see?

about my post, hehhehehe..as a simple woman i shouldn't steal another woman's husband, should i ?? Thanks so much... pls dont read my posts till you get married :)

sawan said...

try creating a dummy blog, hide it if u want.. copy paste the template , compare it with what u have now and do the trial and error.. that would help.. thats how i did mine! i guez the feed part is missing.. ur blog refuses to get updated in my outlook as well! its all bout feeds.. try search for that keyword in a default template..

bout marg: its on hold for reasons i am not sure of!

Vin said...

sawan, already explained the bug in my blog in ur latest post.
i am sorry for ur marriage being on hold...dont worry...the right time will come soon, take care

sawan said...

no worries dear.. i am more worried bout the market crash and its possible impact on india!

Vin said...

hey sawan, thats a nice attitude.. the global financial crash has already affected india...now find individual solutions around all our investments if any!

megz said...

it isn't easier understanding women, but i don't know if its any harder ustanding guys as well....a learning exercise in itself, i can say. our life's spent in solving this puzzle....and its game over before u realise anything.....its over!! its like a snake n ladder game.....u understand either of the sex right, u win and if u don't.....u bet, u cannot escape that snake bites!!

Vin said...

hehheheheehee... megz, i know ;)
snake bites sound cool too !!

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