May 22, 2009

Voices of fantasy

She had heard them before. They were all there with each a story to tell; stories of wishing wells, stories of magic carpets, stories of talking mirrors, stories of flying elephants, stories of how the sea had turned yellow, stories of a world under the sea and stories about girls who heard voices from the unknown. She believed and so they came. She loved to listen to them. And when she sat up cuddled in her bed or her rocking chair all alone in her room, they would come. An invitation was just not the criteria but they weren’t quite pleased when logic surpassed fantasy. They and she were often amused at the voices of reason outside her room. Skeptical scoundrels!

And then they would begin, taking turns and sometimes pausing a little bit for her. She would jump and clap at the enchanting new world discoveries, she would howl or weep silent tears at losses or separation but best of all, sometimes she would laugh involuntarily. At times like these, they understood. They could feel the joke on her bones; the sick jokes of rational behavior, the stale jokes of believing a mirage and the eternal joke of her hallucinations. But at times like these, the ‘others’ failed miserably. The others had misapprehensions and weird notions of reality. It is this ‘others’ that sought to destroy her from herself. And they classified the ‘others’ as foes, as the stereotypical villains in their stories. But they couldn’t save her for the only protection they could offer was to come to heal her loneliness, to tell her stories from other worlds, to paint her dreams, but most of all believe in themselves so that she could believe in herself.

And when in midst of a story, she had any questions, they would respond at once without her having to ask. They could read her thoughts just as it generated with an uncanny precision known only to her. They knew her inside out; they could feel the rhythm in her veins, the impulses that soared through her back and forth, the voices of reason losing over the voices of fantasy and the myriads of colorful vibrations that enveloped her form. They would sing or dance or just rejoice at the triumphant voices of fantasy.

But then her doctor would visit and spoil it all. He had to come every fortnight or else the voices of reason would be forever lost. He injected her with a syringe and some liquid matter coursed through her veins, right to her brain like a shot to them. They at once ducked these liquid bullets of rational illusions. They, the voices of fantasy had to survive, for in their destruction lay her end and that was something they were not prepared for. They wouldn’t let the ‘others’ win. They fought with the chemical bonds in the liquid which would invariably break off. So this war would last for a week and then suitably diminish around the next week. That’s the time her doctor would visit again as per schedule. The ‘others’ could never win nor could they get rid of her ‘schizophrenic voices’.

39 comments:

shanky said...

hey such a nc pos, i liked it :)

Amal Bose said...

wow.. that was soo good
persons with mental illness doesnt know that they are any different from others.. even after they are cured of the illness they wont feel any different from before..
beautifully written
cheers :-)

Kido said...

Well written :)

I'm sorry for the delay... Wasn't around for sometime...

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

EXCELLENT vinnie...I am way too proud of you. This was the 1st time i am reading a different take on schizophrenia.

Arv said...

beautifully illustrated... i thought it was someone who was in between life and death and it taught me a thing too :)

take care mate... cheeers...

Aditi..............:) said...

What should I say!! Where do you get these lovely ideas and also the art of portraying so damn well sweetie!! :)
I love ya!! :)

peter said...

captivating,mysterious,well narrated and Long !

*phewwwwwwww* !

Arslan said...

Funny how we suddenly keep running into an issue we've never thought about before.

A blogger friend wrote something similar (She's a psychiatrist or something):
http://dreeemzz.blogspot.com/2009/05/other-side.html

Reminded me of 'Beautiful Mind' (my all-time fav!)

New here, and following now. :)

numerounity said...

Nice composition!!!


do check out my blogs too...

ektakhetan.blogspot.com

muthu said...

wow vinnie.... I loved the way your words linked to each other. they were so poignant... you have just created a master piece vinnie.

kudos to you.... hats off to you...

gal you neva fail to amaze me.


(i read this 4m a browsing center and caommenting 4m the same.)

(and hey I am sorry 4 that women tweet yaar. you will have to blame my evil alter for that one.Really I had nothing to do with it. i am inoocent.. ;))

cheers....

Chronicwriter said...

vinnieeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

when i read the first paragraph, it was like reading a fredrick foresyth opening lines..

as far as writing style goes, this is your best

:)

chriz

Scattered Thoughts... said...

nice!!

Ragpicker said...

Do a favor to the world - Please write a novel or something as your writings are really worth sharing with the whole world.
Great way of depicting things

"He injected her with a syringe and some liquid matter coursed through her veins, right to her brain like a shot to them. They at once ducked these liquid bullets of rational illusions. "

<--- I am awestruck !!!

By the way just for the heck of it did you actually ever tried a thing called "LSD" ?

Vinnie said...

Shanky
thanks yaar! n thanks for ur visit:)

Amal
thanks yaar..means much for me!
yes i agree n in that way we r all mentally stressed out, only some of them believe a 'different' reality...

Kido
thanks kido! what delay? i just about posted it yesterday night..so u r bang on time :)

BrownPhantom said...

Very nicely written indeed. So easily brought forth the complexity of the topic in a beautiful way.
Well done :).

Vinnie said...

Gayathri
baapre baap! i just tried to go into a schizophrenic person's mind n maybe the clinical symptons match a little, but seriously i didnt know what shape it has taken.

thanks yaar! main ab chane ke jaaad par baiti hun :)

Vinnie said...

Arvwow! thanks sir n i really wanna know what it taught u ? :)

Aditi....:)
i love u too, sweetie!!! thanks so much:) n maybe, i should give the little background info where i got fodder for this one....

some years back, i used to work in a market research group for clinical trials of drugs on mental disorders. here doctors would describe the effects, side effects n behavioral changes in the patient on the particular drug under study...the responses r very painful to read n then to categorise was another cheap ball game...trust me, a mentally ill patient would do much better with some love n affection...n if i dare say this : it is our deranged loveless society which gives birth to such mental imbalances.

Vinnie said...

Peter
hehehhee...trust me, there was much more but then i will reserve it for my novel as someone wise just advised me:)
n yes, thanks for ur patience!

Vinnie said...

Arslan

firstly, thanks for ur visit n the permitted following!
i will be reading this one for sure..particularly since its from a psychiatrist or something:)

well, a beautiful mind is the John Nash, Princeton uni, game theory guy right? i read the book, not seen the movie...its a great recovery story - a real story of a real genius n his battle with the unknown! simply awesome...i could read that again n again..
want to share a quote by Edward Gibbon which forms the opening of a chapter:
"Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius"

thanks again, n sorry for this short comment !!:)

Vinnie said...

numerouunity
thanks yaar!
yes, i will..shortly...

Muthu
OMG!! coming from u, i think i will die now:) still, i have only begun exploring my own mind..so this cant be the masterpiece:)
the Leaf is yet to be painted...

Chriz
:) i wikipediaed this fredrick guy, then realised he is the author of 'The day of the jackal'!
n i reminded u of his style...GOSH!
well, i dunno know what to say, i am just a newbie who has started penning...style-vyle kya hotha hain yaar?
thanks so much..this means i have to keep raising the bar...Big Brother is watching me:)

Vinnie said...

ST
:) thanks yaar!

Rags
thanks a million! i was only exploring my mind n all that was stored inside it:)
i have heard about cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, bhaang (who hasn't in this age n times?)....lekin never tried it...
i hate drugs of all kinds, it is the developed nations tactics of being in power always..first, in the name of globalisation, break down humans as social forms, alienate them, make them stressed out, then when some of them cant tolerate it, call them 'Mad' n then sell potentially harmful drugs...these only keep 'flaring' symptons in control..no chemcal bond can heal what a human can do with love n affection
what we need is a system back to nature, not to LSD n all that unholy shit!

thanks again...i feel much relieved now:)

Vinnie said...

BrownPhantom
thanks man! am glad u felt it that way :)

Muthu
my reply to ur apologies for that tweet on women...will come later...u prepare for GDPI now:)

sawan said...

luvly mate!

Archana said...

Wow, this is very well written! :) You definitely have a way with words Vinnie!

This particular line "the voices of reason losing over the voices of fantasy and the myriads of colorful vibrations that enveloped her form" is just beautiful - - because you describe it in such a way where I can just picture it. And I'm a very visual thinker (as you might have already guessed, lol) so when I read pieces that are so descriptive and well-written, I absolutely love them! Keep up the good work!

PS - I'm adding your blog to the list of blogs I follow! :)

Karthik said...

Wht to tell?? Do you have synonyms for FANTASTIC?? Then fill it..

kanagu said...

wonderfully written Vinnie.. don't know what can I say more.. I am in awe with the way you have written this.. beautiful :)

Vinnie said...

Sawan
thanks hero!

Archana
thanks girl...i'm so happy!
following me is ur decision..like i say 'u r a brave woman!'

Karthik
grand , grotesque, howling, marvelous, rattling, terrific, tremendous, wild, wondeful, wondrous...my dictionary gave only so much :(

Kanagu
thanks da! i hope to 'awe u' again..though this time without injecting myself with any abusive substance:)

kanagu said...

he he he.... :)

btw you have been tagged:

http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/2009/05/24/a-picture-tag/

kanagu said...

Vinnie.. let me know how you got your labels to rotate??

ApocalypsE said...

Wow... That was par excellence...

I couldnt help picturing 'A Beautiful Mind' in the end...

DPhatsez said...

awesome. This is how John Nash of 'A Beautiful Mind' felt.

Good one!
R.E.S.P.E.C.T! \m/

Vinnie said...

Kanagu
Hare Ram..not again! :)

Nirmal
thanks yaar..hope to write again at this 'par excellence' level :)

DPhatsez
thanks yaar! n thanks for ur visit too!

Nikki said...

Classic! Loved it!

Velu said...

Wow vin.

Very nice. One of your best ones yet girl. I love dark stuff. and this was like stirring a swill of black coffee.

Keep up the good work

Cheers,
Velu

PS : Thanks for the wonderful comment. You get the bestest comment award, >O< :)

Karthik said...

The space wouldnt be enough

Vinnie said...

Nikki
thank u sweets!

Velu
WOW! i'm QC approved! thanks Captain!
n thanks so much for the award...

Karthik
hehhehe...

~*wILd chILd*~ said...

Hey!!
I hope all is well.
You're good with words.
This post is very well written. :-)
Cheers!!!

ItAteMyBrain said...

Wow thats a brilliant right up explaing the other side of what people call insanity.
Sometimes they can be more sane,

The words were strong beautifully told. Great job.

Vinnie said...

Wild child
thanks so much, girl!!
yep, i hope all is well with me...who knows whats well or unwell..hehhehehhahaha:)

itatemybrain
:) thanks yaar...n thanks for ur visit too!
nowadays, my own sanity or insanity is at stake:)

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